


The Popular Guy

by crescentsteel



Series: The Popular Guy [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crack, Crack and Angst, Eventual Smut, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Lemon, Oral Sex, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Reader-Insert, Romance, Sex, Smut, Vanilla
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:01:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 28,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crescentsteel/pseuds/crescentsteel
Summary: You only saw him from afar – Oikawa Tooru. He’s just perfect. He’s so kind to his fans, so hardworking, so ambitious. So unreachable. You’re fine with that though. Seeing him around was enough for you. You count yourself lucky that you were able to talk to him one time before graduation. But when university started, he was there waiting for you, and in his hand was the letter you never intended to send.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Series: The Popular Guy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2106444
Comments: 35
Kudos: 175





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a collaboration with my server. It's a spin-off for To All the Boys I've Loved with Haikyuu boys.  
> I will link the other letters down below in case anyone is interested to read the other boys.

Read other routes [here](https://celestialarchiveshq.tumblr.com/post/633649141956886528/tatbmaster).  
my tumblr acct: [@crescentsteel](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/crescentsteel)

_“Hey, it’s me, YN!”_ **  
**

You cringe as you rewatched the footage, teeth digging into your bottom lip as the heat rushes up to your cheeks.

_“So! High-school just finished and wow am I feeling nostalgic guys!”_

Guys? Who even watches your vlogs anyways? Suddenly, you feel utterly ridiculous. 

You watch as you spun in your office chair, fiddling with one of your favourite pens as your on-camera self popped your gum. 

_“Honestly, I’m not even worried about university. Like, I’m so excited for it to be a fresh start y’know?”_ a giggle slipped past your lips as you looked off camera for a brief second, pure excitement filling your eyes. _“Y’know, I was always shy in high-school. Heck, I never even confessed to any of my crushes. Like, how embarrassing, right?”_ You spun again, leaning your head back against the chair and hiding your hot cheeks from the camera’s view. _“I wrote them letters though. Had to get it off my chest, y’know?”_

You shrugged, looking back at the camera. 

_“I’m really, really looking forward to uni. I want it to be different from how high-school was.”_ A frown etched on your lips before you pushed the negative thoughts away and plastered a determined look across your features. _“It will be different!”_ You declared, nodding affirmatively.

Your head drops onto the table, knocking it against the wood a few times. God, why were you so awkward? At least nobody would ever see this or those letters. 

Delete.

\--

“ _Okaasan_! Can I have their room now?” 

“What did I tell you?” Your mother scolds, not even looking up from her cooking. Just seconds ago, you had been brought up to the conversation by your mother, claiming how much she missed you already. “They’ll be back during the holidays, you can’t have their room. Plus, they told your _Oto-san_ and me that they’ll visit whenever they can.”

“Yeah, yeah,” your sister grumbles, kicking her feet. Eyeing your mother a second before a mischievous look graces her features at the idea that had lit up in her head.

Even if she couldn’t have your room, she could still go in there. Right? 

Quietly slipping out of the kitchen, your sister makes her way to your bedroom, whistling softly as she opens the door and steps through the threshold. A snort escapes her lips at the sight before her, your room is still messy despite your parents’ warnings to clean it before you left. Not that they would go in to check anyways. 

She plops down onto your office chair, sighing as she slumps against the comfortable chair. It’s no fair that you have a gaming chair for a desk-chair where she just has a boring, old office chair. This is far more comfortable. Silently, she debates whether she could move the chair into her room without your parents knowing. She’ll just have to return it whenever you make your visits or come home for the holidays. 

Rummaging through your desk, brightly coloured stamps catches her attention. As she pulls out the stack of envelopes, she can’t help but flit through them. Your sister smirks. This would teach you for always stealing her clothes. 


	2. Chapter 2

For the last time, he took in the sight of the volleyball gym. This is the last day he’ll ever step foot in one again. He closed his eyes and inhaled the scent of the place while reliving the memories he gained for the last three years. Training, wins, and losses – glory and bitterness, he recalls them all with no regret.

Yet, he found it best to leave the sport behind.

After having his fill, he turned around and found a girl waiting for him. At first glance, it looks like she’s going to confess. She had the look — blushing cheeks, starstruck eyes, and a letter, only it was not just one letter. She was holding one too many envelopes.

“Um. Oikawa-san?” 

He smiles, his signature one when greeting his fans, “Yes?”

She hands him a brown envelope that has ‘Oikawa’ written on it. He usually knows how to react to letters given to him. He’d be ‘happy and excited’ to receive them, but something tells him that this is not a usual letter. 

“It’s not from me, but uhh, can I have a photo with you?” Her voice was a pitch higher as she voiced out her request.

“Of course.” 

She took out her phone with excited hands and they both posed with peace signs. Before she gives him the envelope, she hurriedly gets a pen and scribbles something on the envelope. After she hands it to him, she bows and walks away.

He usually does not bother with fan letters these days. They say the same things anyways, just written differently. Yet, he has a strong feeling that he must read this letter. For the first time in a long time, he’s thrilled to open a fan letter.

When he gets home, he plops himself on his futon and carefully opens the envelope.

_Hey,_

_I know this is weird since we’ve never talked except for that night but hear me out. I kind of like you, not in the sense where i know everything there’s to know about you but in a way where if I see you at random times of the day, you just kinda lift my mood…_

_Maybe it’s just because I find you inspiring?_

_You were kind of an all around guy, super nice, with a fun personality to the boot. As much as I liked you, I envied you too. How could you make everything look so easy? As an overachiever who grew up burning her candles every damn night, you made it all look effortless and to add it all up, you didn’t even brag! How annoying you are._

_What’s even more annoying is that I can see your profile on magazine spreads and ads as if seeing your handsome face in school wasn’t enough._

_I hate how it seems like something you’d do, yet at the same time, something you wouldn’t. Get what I mean? I thought your passion was for Volleyball, leaving modeling just as a hobby, but you do that exceptionally well too._

_Indeed you were out of reach and definitely on another level._

_Yet that night when I first got to talk to you on the farewell dance, you weren’t on another level. You were just you and it made me realize that maybe I should take a page off your book, “It’s all about a leap of faith, Y/N.” you said._

_A leap of faith. Such words from a guy I’ve been crushing on wasn’t something I’d expect. I always thought you played safe, stayed behind safety bars but when I saw that dangerous glint in your eyes, I realized, you never did._

_You were always like that, people were just so caught up with the idea of the model/volleyball player with good grades that they never saw past that. They don’t think about the devotion and commitment you must’ve poured to be good at everything you do._

_I know I won’t be seeing you again and it’s kind of sad to be honest since you kind of brighten up my day but I’ll remember you, especially those words. Probably even buy a signed poster of you someday._

_Take care always,_

_Y/N_

Oikawa’s eyes remain at the signature of the letter with surprise and amusement. Y/N? The awkward, timid girl from the dance? He reads the letter once again just to make sure he’s read it right. 

He knows how popular he is, both in and out of school. He’s always approached by random people, mostly girls. Those who greet him and ask for pictures on the streets he immediately forgets. But the students, he somehow can remember their faces, especially when he sees them frequently ogling him at school. Being the captain of the volleyball team while working as a model meant having fans cheer for him on the sides. He doesn’t mind of course. He’s used to it. He knows how to smile for them, talk to them, make them like him even more. 

By the time graduation was just around the corner, the faces of his fans at school were already familiar to him. So when you talked to him at the night of the dance, he had question marks looming on top of his head. Prior to that night, he had no idea who you are. He hasn’t seen you around. He just knew you were in the same year with him because it was the farewell dance for the seniors. 

That whole night was tiring. If it wasn’t the girls asking him to dance, it would be students asking to take selfies and/or asking for his number. He’s used to the adoration and he loves it, revels on it even. But that night was on another level. They didn’t care about his personal space anymore. The dance was their perfect excuse to hog him. 

So when he had the chance, he escaped from the place and took refuge in a restricted area. The dance took place only in the school grounds, so they had closed off certain rooms for equipment storage and preparation materials for the party. He snuck into one of the rooms. He didn’t bother turning on the lights since he did not want anyone noticing that someone might be there. 

He took a seat near the windows and looked at the main grounds from that room. The bonfire was lit in the middle of the place while students frolic around, having the time of their senior year.

He’s always at the center of everything he’s involved with and it was fucking awesome. But sometimes, just sometimes, it gets a little bit too rowdy. Once in a while, It’s nice to sit out like he was doing now and watch from the sidelines as students like him have their moments like this. 

The door suddenly opened, much to his dismay. Was he followed? He made sure he wasn’t. He’s a bit ticked off. Some fans really don’t know when to quit. Maybe he’s been too generous to them.

He heard someone trying to flick open the lights, but the room still remained dark. 

“Huh? The lights aren’t working?” The stranger said. He stayed in his place, hoping that he wouldn’t get noticed and be left alone. Although, the chances of that happening is really slim even though he knows that only the silhouette of his back can be seen from the way he was facing the light of the bonfire. 

Like he predicted, you notice him not long after. But what came out of you wasn’t what he was expecting. 

“Hey! Students are not allowed here. Go back to the grounds.”

He turns around from his seat to look at you. You squint at him, trying to make out his face that was hidden by shadows. But he sees you, how you walked slowly to him so you can identify who he was and how your face contorted from strict to horrified. 

That’s a first. 

Even though you didn’t know it was him, you could at least be glad that it was indeed him. 

As you’re closer now, he confirmed that you weren’t one of them. You didn’t follow him. You found him.

“O-Oikawa san?!”

He executes his ever pleasant smile. “Hi! Do you mind if I stay for just a few more minutes?” Surely, you can give him that. You do know him after all. “Um, well… Students shouldn’t be here.” You responded hesitantly. 

He wanted to applaud you for refusing. It’s been a while since someone denied him of a request, especially a girl. Nothing he could do about it though. He’d rather just find another hiding place instead of convincing you.

He stands up and heads for the door when you suddenly block his way and wave your hands frantically. “Wait wait. Uhh. Err.” You look around as you try to search for the words to say. “Before you leave. Can I ask you something?” Your face is flushed red as you put your hands together and fiddle with your thumbs, obviously nervous about what you were going to say. 

“How do you do it?”

His brows knit together in confusion.

You must have realized how vague that sounded since you spoke again. “I mean, how are you so good at everything?” The admiration in your eyes wasn’t like the one he sees from everyone else. It was one that showed respect, as if you recognize the hard work he’s put in everything he does. And for once, it felt like someone perceived him as an actual human being. 

“What’s your name again?”

“I-I’m y/n l/n!.” You said a bit too loud with a shaking voice. It was funny.

You must be part of the farewell dance committee since you seemed like you were about to get something from the room for the event. You’re also wearing the school uniform, unlike everybody else who’s dolled up. What a waste. You’re kinda cute.

You’re at enough distance for his arms to reach you and pull you closer. He grabs your waist with his left hand and holds your hand with his right, getting you in a dance position. Your eyes widen. The fluster in your cheeks goes a shade deeper. Your whole body becomes rigid while your hands tremble at his touch. He can literally see your chest rise up and down from breathing too heavily. He almost wants to laugh at your reaction. 

“Oikawa-san?! What’re you doing?” you whisper in a panicked voice. 

He really wasn’t sure, but he felt like teasing you. “We’re still part of the farewell dance, yeah? Indulge me and I’ll indulge you.”

He starts swaying slowly. You follow clumsily with that look of uncertainty and nervousness still transparent in your whole face. He wonders what’s going on in your mind. A lot of others had desperately asked him to dance with them, which he all declined because accepting one invitation meant accepting all of the others. 

But within the small confines of this dark room, he can do as he pleases without any regard to mindful eyes.

“Why aren’t you looking at me though?” You grimace at his question. “I’m not used to being this close to good-looking people.” You bluntly said, your expression is still of discomfort. You really are interesting despite the aloofness you show him. 

Still, you moved with him to the faint rhythm of the music outside. 

“How I do it, you ask?”

That’s when you meet his gaze, your eyes curious and attentive to the next thing he’s about to say. Your whole body loosens up, as if you forgot that he was holding you.

“It’s all about a leap of faith.” He was awaiting the look of puzzlement in your eyes. He knew how obscure his answer was. 

But it didn’t come. Your eyes retained the same inquisitiveness they held before.

“How can you sound so sure about something uncertain?”

Smart girl. You clearly understood what he meant. Maybe he can give you a real answer, one that he hasn’t said in any interview for it showed a dark side of him that doesn’t sit well with his image.

“Hmmm. Between you and me, y/n, when I hit something,” he dips his head just a few inches from your ear. 

“I hit it.. until it breaks.”

He felt you shiver at his words. Then he let you go and patted your head while you were frozen in place. 

“Nice to meet you,” he said while exiting the dark room.

After that dance, he never saw you again. He didn’t think much of it. If he’d be honest, it’s like it never happened. There were no traces, no witnesses, only you two in the dimness of that enclosed room. The exchange you had was just as brief as well. 

But your letter, it ties up with what little words were said between the two of you. The admiration is just the surface of it. Beneath that was perceptiveness, envy, and compassion. Four different things melded coherently to give a refined message of encouragement, all in the form of this letter.

He has to see you. The letter needs to be answered. 

Only then he realizes that you’re both senior students who already graduated. He didn’t even see you on campus as students. How the fuck can he even find you now that he has no chance of seeing you at all?

He quickly gets the envelope to see anything that might be a clue to how he can find you.

And there it was. A number written hurriedly at the edge of the envelope with a note that said ‘call me’.

The corner of his lips shoot up. He’s a hundred percent it wasn’t your number. It couldn’t be you based on how refined you wrote that letter. 

It was the girl from earlier, but he doesn’t mind. At least you’re traceable now.

—

He was able to get your number from your sister in exchange for a video greeting. Unfortunately, your sister was texting non-stop so he had to block her number after he got what he wanted.

He didn’t text you yet. First, he wanted to see the university you decided to go to. It was one piece of information he managed to extract from your sister. 

He’ll take a look around first. He wanted to see what uni life is like since he’s not going to attend one. He couldn’t tell if it was a busy day or there’s this many people on a daily basis. A few minutes of walking around and he could already hear the murmurs in the background. 

‘He’s so hot.’ 

‘Does he go here?’

‘He looks like a celebrity’

Well, it couldn’t be helped. It was him, Tooru Oikawa. Even if they don’t know who he is, his looks attract attention.

Maybe he should’ve worn his cap and facemask. Admirers will just get in the way of seeing you. Maybe he’ll just come back later. 

He’s about to dip when two girls approached him. “Hi! Are you a freshman like us?”

Too late. He should’ve left sooner. When one comes, they’ll start flocking at him right after. Since he’s already caught, it wouldn’t hurt to accommodate onlookers.

“No, sorry. I’m just visiting someone.” He replied warmly. Another girl comes his way, followed by another, and another. Yep, just like he anticipated.

“You’re looking for someone too?” One girl asked, then her friend whispered something to her. It was supposed to be a whisper but it was loud enough for him to hear. “These hot men better not be looking for the same girl. I swear I’ll lose it if they are.”

He remembers the other colored envelopes your sister was holding. 

Ahh. So he was not the only one, huh? The original plan was there was no plan. He just wanted to see you again and talk about the letter. But based on what he heard, he has competitors now. 

That just won’t do. 

He tuned out the girly muttering and looked for a way to flee from the scene. 

Among the crowd he was attracting, there you stood, paralyzed in the middle of the path with your eyes expanded in horror. 

Great! He found you.

He filled his lungs with air. 

“Yahoooooo! Y/N!” He waved enthusiastically at your direction which caused everyone else to look at you. Instead of acknowledging him, you took a step back, turned around, and half-ran away. 

You really are funny if you honestly thought you could outrun him.

“Excuse me, ladies. That’s her I came to visit.” He hears the dejected groans but pays them no mind as he makes his way to you.

With his long strides, he didn’t really have to put as much effort in chasing as you did in running away from him. He’s impressed at your dedication though. You didn’t even dare look back. That’s good for you. At least you won’t see him right behind you already. 

He wouldn’t mind following you a little bit more just to see how long you can last before you turn your head back and check where he is. But he needs to be the first recipient of the letter who gets to talk to you. He has an idea to throw off anyone who could possibly be around, waiting for their own chance to go talk to you.

He picks up the pace just a little so he can close in on you. When you are within reach, he loops an arm around you which causes you to stop dead on your tracks. 

“That’s not nice of you, y/n. You heard me calling you.” 

You didn’t have to look at him. He knows that you know it’s him. You gulp before facing him. A terrified look spread on your face upon seeing his, verifying that it was truly him. 

You looked around nervously, assessing the situation you were in. You saw something that unnerved you, but he couldn’t tell what it was. You suddenly remove his arm, only to take his hands.

You spoke with a worried expression.

“Come with me.”

You drag him haphazardly, leading him somewhere in the university. He has no idea what’s running in your head as he lets you take him away. Though, he doesn’t mind. You’re essentially the reason why he came anyways. 

You reach inside one of the buildings with less people. Still on full alert, your eyes skimmed the area before going inside one of the rooms, pulling him with you. Once inside, you let go of his hand.

Without catching your breath, you yelp at him. “Why are you here?!”

He reaches for his back pocket and takes out the brown envelope. “Cause of this.” He smiles sweetly while he waves the enclosed letter at you, then puts it back to where it came from. “Your sister’s a real gem for going out of her way to give it to me,” his statement drenched with irony. 

Instead of answering him, you walked three steps away and faced the wall. You softly knock your head against the wall, looking down as you mutter, “What did I do to deserve this?” Followed by another knock, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Before you can do it the third time, he moves toward you and places his back hand where your forehead is supposed to hit again. You look at him distressfully, not removing your forehead against his hand. “Why are you here?”

“I just told you why, Y/n-chan.”

You stand up straight and sigh wearily. “I mean why even bother? I’m sure you get tons of those on a regular basis.”

You were right. Among other letters, he only read yours. Even though you didn’t intend to send the letter, he thought you’d be at least glad that he went after you. Instead, you were questioning his decision of doing so. Not once in any of your limited interactions had you agreed with him. 

He really just wanted to talk to you, initially at least. But you prove to be more and more entertaining that he’s about to do something totally abrupt. 

He supports his weight by leaning his elbow against the wall where his hand is. He slightly tips his head to the side as his smile veers from pleasant to haughty.

“I bothered cause I want to ask you out.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: crescentsteel

Just when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse, there you are, staring dumbfounded at Oikawa. 

“What?” you utter, incredulous from what he just said. You must’ve been hearing things from all the chaos this morning has brought you. 

“I was asking you out, y/n-chan.”

You couldn’t suppress the grimace that formed on your face. Among all the other guys you sent the letter to, it was him whom you thought would be the least of your problems. You thought that he’d be out of the scenario by default. You didn’t think your letter to him would matter. It would just be another fan letter.

By an ironic turn of events, it was him with you in this empty room, asking if you wanted to date him. 

It was preposterous. 

You should’ve burned those letters instead of letting them lie around. Now that you think about it, you shouldn’t have even written those letters in the first place. You and your stupid sentiments of ‘starting fresh’ led you to this.

You fix your posture, removing your forehead from resting on his back hand. Despite slouching towards your direction, he’s still towering over you.

“I don’t want to date you, Oikawa-san.”

He backs away slowly with his eyes wide, shocked by your immediate refusal. He must be. He’s the most popular guy in high school. A lot of girls would kill just to be trapped in the same room with him right now as you are. You can already hear the hearts of his fangirls being shattered if they find out that he’s interested to date someone. 

“But why?”

He sounds as if something’s wrong with you for rejecting him. Can you blame him though? Other than being perfection personified, you sent him that letter that explicitly told him that you have a huge crush on him.

“I don’t wanna be killed by your hoard of fans. I still want to live.”

He pressed his lips together and put his fist in front of his mouth in an attempt to suppress a laugh, but failed right after as his laughter echoed in the empty classroom.

“Seriously? That’s it?” Amusement still laced on his face.

“What do you mean ‘that’s it’? You don’t even go here, yet you’re immediately surrounded by girls. I don’t want to be caught in all of that. I want an amazing college life without girls going after my throat.” You said a bit too fast which made you catch your breath. You forgot that you sprinted just a while ago to get away from everyone.

Then he smiles at you, his eyes closed in arced slits, that prince-like smile that had everyone fawning after him. 

“Y/n-chan.”

“Y-yes?” You stutter, slowly losing the previous resolve you had to stand up against him.

He opens his eyes and looks directly at you. “Do you still like me?”

It should’ve been easy to say no, but you have a gut feeling that he would be able to tell if you were lying. You’re not an excellent liar to begin with. 

“Well.. uh. It’s not that I don’t, but errr.” You cower in the middle of your sentence, unable to deny what he asked you. You try to look somewhere else to prevent the fluster that was about to surface on your face

He suddenly puts his hands together like in a prayer, emitting a sharp sound that made you look at him again.

“Yaay! I thought you really declined me back then, y/n-chan. That hurt.” He said with feigned pain on his tone.

“But I just did?” You could’ve been more firm, but you, yourself, sounded uncertain as you find yourself getting mesmerized again by his presence, realizing that it’s him, the one you’ve always looked at from a distance with a dreamy sigh knowing that he’d never look your way. 

But you were okay with that! So it wasn’t really a problem.

He suddenly gets his phone from his pocket and looks at it for a short while. “Ah. I have to go now.” 

You feel conflicted. You should feel relieved that he’s about to leave and give you the peace you wanted, but also, you still haven’t settled the issue at hand. 

“Come on now.” He gets your hand and tugs you along with him to get out of the room. You absent-mindedly follow as you’re distracted with his huge hand covering yours. 

Once outside, he faces you. “I’ll be back, okay?” 

You summon the all willpower you have in you. “I told you. I don’t want to go” you pause when he faces you, “out… with….” You were rendered speechless from the calculating smirk he gave you, something you haven’t seen him do from all those times you silently watched him.

“Do you honestly think I’d accept that half-assed rejection?”

He lets go of your hands only for his fingers to go up to your chin. “Tell it straight to my face that you don’t like me. Then, I’ll stop.”

You had an inkling that from that night that Oikawa had this persona he wasn’t showing any one. He only showed you a glimpse of it. But right now, he’s revealing not only a glimpse, but a more concrete display of it.

There really is more to him than what he let on to everybody.

In a blink of an eye, he goes back to his pleasant demeanor, slightly pinching your chin before releasing it. “See you again, y/n-chan.” 

You watch his back gradually disappear from your sight while you’re completely rooted to the ground. 

\--

The buzzer rang, signalling the end of your last subject for the day. You gather your things from your desk and start to head out when you feel your phone vibrate. 

_“Miss me, y/n-chan? :P”_

You gape at the short message you just received. It was an unknown number, but you have a very good guess to who it is. In fact, it’s not just a guess. You were certain it was Oikawa. You could even hear his voice as you read it. 

_“How did you get my number?”_

_“Have I told you what a wonderful being your lil sister is? So precious! >_<“_

That witch! How much more did she tell Oikawa about you? 

“Ugh!”

She has no idea how lucky she was that you moved out. If you were at home, God knows what you might have done to her. 

You haven’t replied, but your phone alerted again. 

_“I’m waiting at your campus gates, mkay?”_

Did your wretched sister tell him about your schedule too? Did she also tell him that you have a scar on your left butt cheek? Cause you wouldn’t be surprised if she did. 

Wait. What?!

You look again at what he just said, the thought of him actually being there waiting for you sinking in your head. 

You double your pace to reach the gates as soon as you can just to see if he was actually telling the truth. 

Like he said, there he was, gracing the area with his presence just by standing there. 

Your high school uniform looked great on him. But seeing him in his casual wear is a cultural reset you still haven’t gotten used to because he looked better than he already did before.

Your university didn’t have uniforms, but even so, you could tell he was different from other students. He looked out of place because he stands out. 

You weren’t the only one to notice as you can see some students buzzing around about that good-looking guy near the gates. 

Your eyes meet when you look at him again. He immediately smiles warmly at you, which made you blush a little. You’re about to approach him when three girls suddenly talked to him. You were not near enough to hear their conversation, but you didn’t have to be. You already know they’re ogling at him. 

While he’s distracted with them, you turn around and walk away as quickly as you can.

You scold yourself mentally. 

For a moment, you forgot that he was the great Oikawa.

You don’t know why he’s after you, but you don’t want to get caught up with all of that ruckus.

If he won’t take your refusal, you’re just going to have to ignore him. You came to terms with the fact that you’re a bad liar, so you can’t tell him to his face that you don’t like him.

Because you do.

\--

As the days go by, you don’t respond to his texts. You ignore him when he waves at you, despite the other girls fighting for his attention, as he waits for you every other day in the school gates. 

He could’ve easily approached you again every time he saw you at campus. He did chase you on his first visit after all. 

But you knew what he wanted. He wanted you to be the one to go to him. He’s offering himself on a silver platter and baiting you to come get him yourself. 

It was irritating because you were tempted. Every time you saw him smile exclusively at you, your defenses got weaker. Each day you see him waiting is a scene straight from a shoujo manga, and you feel like you’re the dumb heroine. 

Finally, on his second week of relentless visits, you gave in. You did your best not to, but you also didn’t think he’d be that persistent.

Since he visited frequently, he unknowingly built a group of followers who’d wait for him as well. Even before he sees you, you march up to him and ignore the few people who are already hogging him. 

His face lights up when he spots you coming towards him and waves eagerly at you. Upon being acknowledged by him, the people make way for you until you’re standing right in front of him. 

“Y/n-chan!”

You thought he’d immediately understand that you wanted to get out of here, but he just looks at you innocently.

“Let’s go,” you say in almost a whisper before turning around and walking away from the small crowd. “Bye everyone,” you heard him say cheerfully before catching up to you. 

You let him follow you until you reach a cafe outside the university. 

“I really thought you were going to keep ignoring me,” he said as he stirred the coffee he ordered.

“When were you planning to stop if I did?”

He sips the coffee and answers, “Today.”

You place your elbows on the table as you cover your face with your hands. You made a terrible decision. You should’ve been strong for at least one more day, and that would have been the end of it. 

“Can’t believe you actually made me chase you,” he added. 

“I didn’t ask you to.”

“I wanted to.”

Even until now, his straightforwardness still surprises you. How does someone say things like that so easily?

It must be the confidence from being such an incredible person

“So, are we dating now?” 

You gawk at him. You haven’t even settled down yet from the previous conversation and there he was with another bomb already at hand. 

“No! I dragged you here to talk. Why are you so persistent in asking me out? Aren’t you busy?”

“Not really. I quit volleyball.”

Oikawa saw how your expression changed all too quickly when he gave you the news. He was expecting it. He knew the reason you admired him so much was because of the pedestal you put him on. Now that he’s just Oikawa, the model, he wonders how your perception of him would change. 

Instead of disappointment, you just stared at him. Your eyes pierced him like you’re prodding whatever’s going on on his head.

“What about university?” 

“I won’t attend one.”

That’s when you looked away, with your eyes glazed with soft melancholy from which he couldn’t understand where it came from. It seemed like you figured something out that made you feel bad for him. When you look at him again, you weren’t the flustered mess that you usually were. 

“Do you really want to date me, Oikawa-san?”

“I wouldn’t bug you for two weeks for nothing if I didn’t.”

“Then please be real with me, “ your voice suddenly serious. “Why did you quit volleyball?”

He pauses before answering, deciding which answer he’d give you, not that he’s going to lie. It’s just that the subject is lil bit too touchy for him to talk about openly. “Modeling suits me best don’t you think?”

You didn’t say anything but the way your jaw tensed up was very telling. You don’t agree with him. Still you say, “It suits you a lot, Oikawa-san.” 

He became utterly confused. You were earnest. You meant every word of what you said, but the expression in your face contradicts them. 

“It’s just that you looked incredibly unhappy when you mentioned you quit Volleyball.”

He froze, completely caught off guard by what you just said. He wasn’t even aware that he made such a face. 

“I will always support you, Oikawa-san. I guess as a fan myself, I just want to see you genuinely happy with whatever you choose to do. I think that’s what drew me to you in the first place. You looked like you enjoyed yourself in all the things you excelled at.”

The sincerity of every single word you struck him hard. And he wasn’t prepared for it despite being the one who went after you.

He never once doubted that it was you who wrote the letter, but seeing and hearing you say what you just said, it’s as if the letter materialized into a person that is you. It was fascinating how the words in that piece of paper took your form.

“Umm..”

You both look at the sudden interruption. “Oikawa-san? Can we get a photo? It’s my friend’s birthday and…” He didn’t hear the rest of whatever the bitch was babbling about. Internally, he’s pissed. You were talking about something important. Is she fucking blind that they didn’t see he was with you? 

When he looks at you, you’re gripping your cup while staring at the lady with discomfort in your eyes. You clear your throat to let her know that you were there presently, but she still didn’t pay you any attention. With a sigh, you look down in defeat. 

That’s when he understood why you blatantly rejected him despite the heartfelt letter. You knew these things were going to happen. He previously thought you were overreacting about him and his fans, so he didn’t pay any mind to it. But now he actually saw how it bothered you.

That fueled his irritation even more.

“Sorry. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m on a date with her.” He said with a fake ass smile as to not be completely impolite to a fan. 

The lady looks your way. “Oh,” finally seeing that he is indeed with someone. She suddenly bows down to you two. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t know you were dating someone.” Then walked out of the scene as fast as she could. 

Rather than relief, it was worry spread on your face when he looked at you again. 

“Why did you do that, Oikawa-san? They might spread bad rumors about you.”

“What could be bad about dating you?”

And there it was, the adorable panic settling on your face with pink tints surfacing on your cheeks. He’s used to people blushing because of him, but yours just hits him differently. You should learn to stop getting flustered so much around him. It eggs him on even more.

“We-We’re not dating!” Your voice almost cracked from how high your pitch was when you spoke. 

“Then what’re we doing now?”

Your eyes dart around, looking for an answer to his question. He lets you even though he’s still convinced this is a date. 

“We’re just hanging out?” You said uncertainly. “Yes. That’s it!” You nod enthusiastically, proud of yourself for finding a label for this afternoon, other than a ‘date.’ 

“We’re just hanging out.” You reiterate with a wide smile. 

“Okay.” He plants his elbows on the table and weaves his fingers together to form a surface he could rest his chin on. “So there’s no problem with us hanging out often then, y/n-chan?”

You, yourself, looked perplexed on how to answer his question. If you were just hanging out, then it shouldn’t be a problem. If you make a fuss out of it, then it’d be like you’re admitting that this is more than just hanging out. 

“I-I guess?”

He couldn’t help the tug in the corner of his lips. You had no idea you’re playing yourself right into his hands.

“Let me know when we can call it ‘dating’, oke?”

You sighed. “I don’t even know why you would even want to date me, Oikawa-san. I really am just a fan.”

No, you weren’t. The fact that you keep insisting you are makes him even more believe otherwise. You’re completely clueless on how different you were from everybody else. 

”I like you, y/n-chan. Is that reason not good enough?”

\--

You still haven’t wrapped your head around what just happened between you and Oikawa at that coffee shop. It was too good to be true. You were actually convinced you dreamt the whole thing until you opened your phone when you woke up and saw a text from him. 

‘Good morning Y/n-chan <3’

You shouldn’t be getting your hopes up, but how can you not? You’re just a regular girl. It’s hard not to feel anything when someone you really look up to is pining after you. What could he have possibly liked about you? 

Maybe he’s getting lonely in life and wanted to start dating so he shuffled his fan letters and drew a lucky girl that could be his girlfriend. 

You shook your head. 

He’s not that shallow. Despite the sprightly, frivolous personage he has, that’s something he wouldn’t do. 

You look at your phone again. Should you reply to this? Does this message require a response or he just wanted to greet you? You groan from your own thoughts. You’ve liked so many boys in high school but never actually went out with one so you have no idea this goes. 

In the end, you texted back with a morning greeting even though it’s almost noon.

“Wanna hang out today?”

You were so foolish when suggested to just hang out instead of date. That was basically the same thing, just a different label, especially to him who kept on asking you out. 

Still, it works out for you because you’re not sure if you wanted to date him for real.

If you’d be honest with yourself, you actually want to. 

Ever since that conversation you had in the cafe, you found yourself liking him even more. He’s shown you that he’s not the ever perfect guy everyone made him out to be. He also has a shadow behind that radiant light he emits. He’s not as unreachable as you thought. 

However, you knew that that line of thinking would do you no good. Even if you knew how he really is as a person, that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an incredibly great individual, and you’re not exactly that excellent to be staying beside someone like him. 

Dating him would mean entering his world completely and accepting that you will have to compete with each single admirer vying for him. You’re not ready for that. 

And it wasn’t just those You’d also be competing against his career. If he was going to date you, he’d have to actually make time for you. That might affect his success. You don’t want that. You’re satisfied with just cheering for him from afar.

So ‘hanging out’ is okay. He won’t expect things from you and you won’t expect things from him as well. 

That means you shouldn’t cancel your plans today just for him, even though it’s not really that important.

‘Sorry, but I told my cousin I’d watch their match today.’

‘Mind if I watch with you?’

You tell yourself it’s just casually hanging out, but you look like an idiot as you smile at your phone while walking towards the gymnasium where your cousin’s volleyball match is taking place. 

\--

The match was ongoing when someone stood beside you. You look to see who it was and saw Oikawa wearing glasses and a face mask. Even with half of his face covered, you can still tell that it was him. 

“Are you okay, Oikawa-san? Are you feeling sick?”

He waves his hand as a no to your question.”I didn’t want to be recognized. I don’t want a repeat of the other day.” 

You were moved. That was thoughtful of him. That incident made you upset, but you accepted right after that it was just natural since he’s him. He didn’t have to adjust for you, but he did. 

You look around to see if the seats were still as unoccupied as they were when you arrived. 

“I think you can remove them now. There’s not a lot of people here. There’s even fewer girls. It’d be a shame to cover your face.” 

When he removed his mask, he was grinning ear to ear. 

“Do you really mean that, y/n-chan? I look that good to you?” He asked frivolously, wanting to fish a compliment from you. But you just scoff. To you, it wasn’t even a compliment to tell him that he’s a very appealing person. To you, it was an objective truth that you find no shame in announcing.

“Yes. You look that good, Oikawa-san.” 

He seems to look extremely pleased, which was weird cause he should already know that. His fans remind him every day. Maybe good-looking people need validation at random times, so you just shrug it off. 

“Is your cousin any good?”

“I honestly don’t know. He asked me to be here because he wanted to boast to his teammates that a girl is watching him play.” 

“He better play his best then.”

The second set starts and you both watch intently.

Every time your cousin scores, you cheer for him as loud as you can. That's why you’re there after all, to give moral support. 

“They need to calm down.” Oikawa suddenly spoke at the 23rd point of the opposing team.

“Who?”

“Your cousin’s team.”

You burrow our eyebrows together at his answer. “They look okay to me. In fact, they’re more aggressive than the first set.”

“That’s the problem. They haven’t been doing anything flashy, but they’re consistent with their attacks and receives earlier in the game. They want that break point, so they’re pushing themselves to do something to get it. At that last rally, the setter should’ve tossed the ball at the back instead of spiking it himself. He got impatient and it resulted in a misplay.”

Oikawa doesn’t hear you respond, so he looks at you. 

But you were already looking at him, doe eyes gleaming with the purest form of awe he’s ever seen.

“What?”

A smile that exuded joy spreads across your wonderstruck face. 

It made him wonder what it’d be like if it was him playing. What kind of smile would you give him when his team wins?

He mentally scolds himself. That shouldn’t have crossed his mind. He’s content with his increasing success due to modeling. That’s where he belongs. Not at the court, aspiring to stand with naturally gifted players who didn’t have to work as hard as he did. 

“Sorry, sorry. You just looked really cool while explaining all that. It reminded me what made me like you so much back in high school.” You giggled. 

That was the first laugh you ever graced him with. 

He was suddenly conscious of the words he should use for flattery. He hadn’t been exactly honest with his fans when he returned their compliments. He didn’t want to use adjectives such as ‘pretty’ or ‘cute’ because he threw those words like useless garbage whenever it suited him. 

He sincerely wants to let you know you looked beautiful just now.

A whistle followed by cheers of the small number of people in the gym causes the both of you to look at the match. It was over. Your cousin’s team lost.

“I’m going to meet him. Are you coming?” 

The moment was lost, so he let it go. There will be other times to tell you. 

You both go down from the benches and wait for your cousin. When your cousin arrives, instead of greeting you, his eyes travel to Oikawa.

“That was a good game. Next time for sure!” You consoled your cousin even though his eyes kept going back and forth to you and Oikawa. 

“Thanks nee-san!”

Your cousin leans to you to whisper something which he could probably guess as something related to him from the way you looked at him after your cousin spoke. 

“Ah, yes. That’s him.”

You both turned to him. “Oikawa-san, this is my cousin, Shin. And Shin, well… you already know him.”

“Yes, I saw you play! Your team crushed ours last year. It was awesome!” He said too eagerly. 

Is your whole family his fan? Maybe he should meet them all. 

“Are you dating nee-san?”

He saw you suddenly got stiff from your cousin’s question. “H-hey! Don’t go around asking stuff like that to people you just met, Shin.”

He raised his eyebrow from how you didn’t deny that you two were dating, even when it was you who said that you weren’t. 

“Nope! I asked her to date me but she said we’re only hanging out.” He said all too pleasantly.

Your cousin harshly turned to you and yelled, “Why?! You’ll never get someone as good as him!”

From that moment, Oikawa decided that he likes your cousin. He should definitely meet more of you relatives. Your sister gives out any information about you while your cousin wants you to date him. What a blessing your family truly is. 

“That’s none of your business, you high school brat!” You yell back even though there’s a faint shade of pink on your cheeks.

Your cousin ignores you and faces him instead. “Can you please come to our practice, Oikawa-san? Just once. Please.” 

“Knock it off, Shin. He’s very busy.”

Although he was indeed about to decline, an idea popped in his head when you spoke. “I’ll go, but she needs to go too, okay?” His answer was directed at Shin, but he was looking at you. 

Before asking to go with you this morning, their previous coach texted to meet up with him. He kindly declined. He’d be wasting both their time since he was sure their coach was just going to convince him to continue playing. And he was sure that his answer was no. 

But a measly practice with you watching, that he can do. You’ll get to see him play and in return, he might get to see that special smile of yours again. 

“Please nee-san!”

“W-wait. I’m not sure about-”

“PLEASE!” Your cousin was literally begging, and he couldn’t help but be delighted on how someone else was doing the work for him. 

“Fine! Just get up off your knees. You’re embarrassing me.”

“Yes!!” Your cousin laughed maniacally, and if he didn’t worry about his image, he’d join in on the laugh as well. 

When the three of you settled down, you bid your goodbyes and left. It was already sunset so he decided you two should eat somewhere before heading home, which of course you refused because you said you didn’t want to impose even though he’s the one who asked. 

Regardless, he did manage to convince you. ‘It’s all part of hanging out today’ was how he put it. 

It was completely dark out when you got out of the diner because of how slow you ate. 

You suddenly bowed. “Thank you for your time! Please stay safe on your way home!”

He wanted to laugh because you’re like one of those staff greeting their customers on their way out. “What’re you talking about? I’m walking you home.”

“Huh? You don’t have to, Oikawa-san!”

He sighs. “I don’t do things because I have an obligation to. I do things, because I want to, mkay?”

You give him a coy smile before nodding.

He asked about you on the way to your dorm. You knew a lot about him, but he knew almost nothing about you. So he used the opportunity to get you to tell him something about yourself. You were worried at first that you were talking too much because he’s quiet most of the time. But he was just listening intently because he wanted to ingest everything you’re saying. 

When you got comfortable, your stutters gradually stopped and he found that you’re actually talkative. It helped that you’re looking straight ahead instead of at him as you speak. 

A few minutes after, your dorm was in sight. That’s when the question popped back in his head. “How come you never cheered me on in any of our games?” He was wondering earlier but forgot since your cousin came.

“I did! I always watched your games.”

“Like how you cheered for your cousin, I meant.”

You paused before you spoke. “For starters, you already have tons of cheerleaders. My tiny voice was inconsequential.”

“But for someone who considers herself as a fan, you sure were quiet.”

“I don’t think you really needed people cheering for you. I doubt you even hear them when you play. You really lose yourself when you’re on the court. You don’t do it for the fans. You do it because you love it. Maybe that’s why I don't scream cheers for you. I, myself, get so caught up with you the way you play.”

He’s completely astounded by how spot on you were. He reveled in the glory of his popularity, but that was just a bonus he can do well without. How you were able to process all that just from watching from the sidelines, he could never know. 

He’s used to the flattery and the worship from his fans, but the way your eyes light when you talk about him. It wasn’t blind adoration. You saw what’s beneath the thin surface of his fame and that’s what you came to like. 

“I was also so envious of how you got the same grades that I did. It was infuriating! But also inspiring at the same time. God knows if I tried as hard as you did in any club I joined, my exams would suffer.”

You smiled into the nothingness in front of you, as if you were replaying a scene in your mind.  
  


It didn’t sit well with him. He didn’t like how you were looking so far away. It was like you were chasing after the high school Oikawa, instead of the Oikawa that’s beside you right now. He wanted to do something. He wanted you to look at him, the person you admire so much. 

“I wish I could’ve watched you model too. I wonder how you looked like during your photo shoots. I want to know how the gorgeous photos-”

He grabbed your hand and stopped walking. You eyed his hand that was holding yours before meeting his gaze. 

Finally. You were looking at him. He wanted to let you know that he wasn’t just a far away image you were going after. He wanted you to acknowledge that he’s presently right there with you. 

“Y/n-chan.” He let go of your hand and advanced two steps until he was standing in front of you. 

He smiled at you. Being with him all day, you were starting to get used to him. So you smiled back. 

“Yes?”

“I really don’t mind this whole hanging out thingy of yours.”

His eyes were intently locked on your face, but it lacked the lightheartedness that was previously just there. The air around him unexpectedly shifted into something threatening right when you were just starting to get comfortable around his presence. 

“But won’t you mind kissing someone you’re not dating?”

Warning sirens ring your head, but you can’t move. You know he’s about to do what you think he’s about to do, making your heart pound wildly in your chest. The rational thing to do is to get out of the situation before he actually does it. You wouldn’t be able to handle it. 

You clearly know that and yet, you only hold his gaze as his eyes filled with hunger drop to your lips while he inches closer and closer.

Right when his lips are a breath away, he diverts his eyes back to yours.

“You have 3 seconds to say no.”

Great! Now is your time to refuse.

“Three.”

You really should.

“Two.”

You open your mouth to force the two-letter word to come out.

“One.”

“Oikawa-san...” You really should’ve said no. You didn’t even know what you were about to say after uttering his name. 

He cupped your cheek and smirked as he said, “ _That wasn’t a no_.”

He crossed that tiny gap between your mouths and in an instant, his lips claimed yours.

You knew how amazing he was in everything he chose to do, and that included the way he kissed you. It was gentle, coaxing you to let go of whatever apprehension you held. 

And you did. For the first time, the wrong decision felt right. 

You closed your eyes and let yourself get absorbed on how his lips warmed yours in the settling cold of the night. It was soothing, but also left you wanting more. 

The palm of your hands traveled to his chest and slowly made their way up to his shoulders. One remained planted on the surface of it while the other went to his nape, yielding to your urge to have more of his warmth as you softly suck his lower lip 

His free arm snaked around your waist to pull you closer, just how you wanted him to. 

Every single second felt incredible. You never knew a kiss could be so intense but tender at the same time. 

Even in your dreams, you haven’t thought of kissing Oikawa. He was far too good for you that imagining such things is utterly absurd. But reality made you feel the contrary with the way he intricately moved his mouth against yours. You felt wanted.

You pull away slightly to grasp for air. He brushed your cheek with his thumb which caused you to raise your gaze to him. He wore a faint smile with genuine fondness dancing in his eyes as he looked at nothing else but your face. 

You were starting to believe that he really meant it when he said he likes you.

It made you weak.

“Aheeeeeem~”

You pushed yourself off of him from the sudden intrusion. You harshly turned your neck to see where it came from and found two girls giggling on their way inside the dorms while glancing at you and Oikawa. You’re relieved that they did not recognize him, but that’s only secondary to the embarrassment of getting caught intimate right outside the dormitories not even a month after university has started

Maybe they even saw you making out.

Your cheeks flared up at the thought. 

You face his direction and bow exaggeratedly that your body formed a perfect right angle. “Please drink a lot of water and sleep early so you won’t get acne! Thank you for today!” 

You wanted to slap yourself until you could see what kind of garbage your brain was made of. You panicked so bad that you spat out the most random thing you could think of just to distract yourself from what just happened. 

Without looking at him, you ran off with the worst cringe you’ve had in your entire life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thoroughly enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you do too!


	4. Chapter 4

You could not sleep even if your eyes were unbearably heavy. When you close them, your mind automatically goes back to what just happened earlier that night. 

You kissed Oikawa. 

Technically, he kissed you. But you allowed him to and even kissed him back. 

You hugged your pillow tighter and buried your face in it to cool the warmth in your cheeks. You didn’t want to date him but you let him kiss you. And not just kiss, you were literally making out.

How will you face him the next time?

You were thankful when you heard your phone vibrate on top of the countertop next to your bed. You could use a distraction. 

You immediately grabbed it to see what it was about. 

_Good night, y/n-chan! I really enjoyed hanging out with you today._ _My favorite part was after I walked you to your dorm :))_

You closed your phone and put it back. 

You stared at the ceiling of your room and accepted that you won’t get much or any sleep at all tonight.

—

 _“Nee-san!! We have practice this Saturday. COME WITH OIKAWA PLS_ ”

You scowled after reading your cousin’s text. It hasn’t been that long since you came to his match yet he’s already asking for you to come again the weekend after that. You know your childish cousin didn’t really care much about you. He was after Oikawa and you were just the condition he set for him to come.

Oikawa hasn’t bugged you that much since that jarring night of humiliation. He still messages you every now and then but he hasn’t asked to meet again. It gave you peace of mind. 

It’s not that you don’t want to see him again. You actually find yourself slightly missing his presence.

His wonderful brightness didn’t decrease one bit but you adjusted to it and felt even more magnetized by what’s behind the popular guy everyone knew.

Still, you didn’t know how you should react when you see him again. And even though it’s just for Shin’s practice, you don’t have the courage to be the first one to ask him to meet.

You’ll just apologize to your cousin and lie that Oikawa was too busy to go.

You were constructing your half-baked apology to your cousin when your phone rang.

_Oikawa_

Your thumb was trembling with nervousness when you pressed the green button to accept the call.

“H-hello?”

“Hi, y/n-chan!”

You could see him smiling at the other side of the line just from the cheery tone of his voice.

“When are we hanging out again, hmm?” He asked giddily.

The phrase ‘hanging out’ was your idea but it was becoming pestilent even to you. You don’t want to actually date him, but you’re certain that you’re not just hanging out, especially not after that-

“You there, y/n-chan?”

“Oh. Yeah, umm.” You couldn’t believe you were spacing out because of him even when it’s the guy himself you’re talking to. “My cousin said their practice is going to be this Saturday.” 

“Ahh, right. Let’s go together?”

You panicked. “No!”

“Ehhh? I don’t see the point if you’re not going.” 

“I’ll go.” You corrected yourself right away. “But I’ll meet you there instead.” That would allow you to spend time with him again without being alone with him.

“But why can’t we just go together?” He pressed on. 

You forgot that this was the man who persistently waited for you for two weeks at your university gates. Once he sets his eyes on something, he is ill-determined to get it, and at the moment, that something is you and him going to your cousin’s practice at the same time.

Unable to come up with an excuse, you proceed to say the truth. “I kinda feel awkward to be alone with you.”

It took him a few seconds to respond. “Because I kissed you?”

You were already unsettled just thinking about it. To hear it directly from him made you even more embarrassed. 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you regret it?” His frolicsome attitude was absent from how he spoke the question. 

“Err…” Your logical mind was screaming at you to say yes so he wouldn’t pull something like that again. But you knew that would be a lie. The reason why it made you restless wasn’t solely because of how inappropriate it was to be seen doing it in public. 

It was mostly because you liked it. You enjoyed it. And it troubles you that you did. 

You sighed as you decided to answer it honestly. “No.”

“Ehehe. Oke. Text me when and where and I’ll see you there. Bye y/n-chan!” He said delightedly then abruptly ended the call. You removed your phone from your ear and looked at the screen.

Did he really just agree to what you asked him to without complaining?

You thought you were getting used to him but he managed to hang question marks all over your head again. 

You shook your head as you deleted the previous draft you were about to send to Shin. Instead, you asked for the details Oikawa mentioned in the call. 

Knowing that you won’t have to suffer awkwardness from being alone with him, excitement grew in you. You’re going to see him play without his obnoxious fans.

\--

Oikawa stared at their previous coach’s message. This time, the message was straightforward. He was asked to reconsider his decision of quitting volleyball, as if that would make him change his mind.

He closed his phone and walked straight inside the gymnasium you texted him. 

There were less players than your previous team, but they’re still of decent numbers. One side of the net was doing blocking drills while the other was practicing their passing. 

He looked around but didn’t see you there. 

He took out his phone again to call you since he didn’t see the point in playing when you’re not there. 

“Oikawa-san!”

He looked for the person who called him and saw your cousin jogging towards him. 

“Wow!! You really came.” Shin looked at him from head to toe as if he was an apparition that materialized. 

He would be pleased with the adoration if you weren’t missing in action. “Where’s y/n?” 

“She said she’s on the way. She’ll be here, I swear.” He smiled at Shin, satisfied that the deal he set was still intact on your cousin’s mind. 

“Okay then. How do you want to play?” He asked, curious about how the team planned to utilize him to train. 

“How many sets can you play?”

“How many sets can you play?” He was unable to control the smirk that went up on his mouth. Shin instantly beamed with excitement. 

“Can we do four? You’ll be joining the first two sets with the blue team and the remaining two with the white team. Is that okay?”

“Sounds fine. Where can I change?” 

Shin pointed at a corner of the gym. “The lockers are over there. Feel free to use it. You can even lock it if you don’t want anyone suddenly entering.” Shin offered generously, but he just laughed it off. 

He didn’t mind people walking in while he’s changing. He has played the sport since he was a child. He was always changing around other boys so it wouldn’t faze him. 

Once inside the locker room, he put down his bag. He checked his phone again if there were any updates from you, but still 0 new messages. 

If the first set is done and you’re not still there, he’ll leave. 

He changed to his training clothes and went back to where your cousin was. Shin introduced him to the rest of the team as was not really surprised when everyone knew who he was. 

As they discussed earlier, he was going to play with the blue team first. As expected, he was going to play the setter for both teams. 

They let them continue their drills for a short while so he could warm up. When he told Shin that he was good to go, the practice match started. Yet, there was still no sign of you. 

Oh well. One set and he’s gonna dip if you’re still not around. 

The game started with him gauging everyone on his current team which included Shin. He observed how each hitter approached the ball he tossed and assessed their potential. On their ninth point, he called for a time out. 

He asked the hitters how they found his sets. They were hesitant at first, but he urged them to talk. He absorbed their input and filtered out the information he needed from them with ease. 

After the time out, their team gradually picked up the pace. He was able to fine tune his sets according to each hitter while studying the other team behind the net. He adjusted the toss of the ball accordingly to what he deemed would make their attacks at their best. 

With the score 24-19, it amused him that he was rotated at the back for the service. 

It was his first time meeting and playing with them, and they were nowhere near as good as his previous team, but it thrilled him. Maximizing each individual’s capability to solidify the team gives him a rush. 

While waiting for the referee to blow the whistle, his eyes automatically drifted to the entrance and was reminded why he was playing in the first place. 

Luckily, his team was at the side where the entrance was so he was able to get a full view of you as you entered the gym. 

Oh boy did he get distracted. You were wearing a white fitted shirt and black cycling shorts. Your university wasn’t strict with the dress code. He noticed that anyone could wear whatever they wanted. Yet you always wore pants and baggy long sleeves, sometimes you pair it with a jacket. 

To see you that much skin from you was an experience he wanted to prolong if not for the whistle that perforated his fascination. He faced the net and dribbled the ball. Once again, he looked at you and just how he wanted, you were also looking at him. He held your gaze for half a second before a smirk crept up on his face as he prepared himself to serve.. 

Everything felt great. From his run-up, his high toss, his point of contact with the ball, and the energy behind all those - you. 

It has been a while since he played, but anyone watching the game wouldn’t be able to guess that from how the ball pierced the air and landed with blistering speed at the corner of the back court. No one was able to move a muscle. No one even reacted except for him who couldn’t contain his smile. 

It was the referee’s signal that let everybody know that his serve got his team to win. 

Instead of cheering the team he was in, he went to you. You were clapping with an impressed beam on your pretty face. “Wow! That was..” You looked again to where he was standing when he served the ball. “Just wow. I have no words,” you added.

“You’re late, y/n-chan.” He tried to sound sulking but he was too proud of himself and too glad you arrived at the right moment.

“Sorry. I had a laundry catastrophe I had to fix.” You apologized but your dazzled smile remained. 

He was worried you’d act more aloof than you normally were because of what happened the last time you saw each other. But to his pleasant surprise, you seemed livelier than usual. You didn’t even bow when you apologized which was refreshing. 

“Oikawa-san!” The number 4 in his team called out. “We need to switch courts.”

He’s a bit irked because he wanted to brag more and hear you praise him since you almost missed the first set. 

“Go ahead,” you urged eagerly. “I’ll be watching intently the next games.” 

“You better. I’m playing for you, y/n-chan.” He winked at you as he ran off with his current team mate. When he took one last glance at you, he felt gratified as he saw your shocked expression accompanied by the ever precious blush that settled on your cheeks.

He decided then and there that whatever team he’s in, he’s going to make them win.

\--

The kiss that haunted you was immediately stomped over when you arrived at the gym.

You realized that it didn’t matter who Oikawa’s with. As long as he is playing out there in the court, regardless of who his teammates are, his excellence showed. Everyone, including you, noticed that the team where he was in was the winning team. You could see how his teammates are enjoying the game that he was indirectly leading. 

What awed you more was how he talked to the players. He didn’t speak like he was superior among them even though he was. He treated everyone casually, talked to them player to player, even sharing some smiles and laughs at attacks executed well. 

He was indeed mesmerizing to watch. 

He said he was playing for you but you highly doubt that. Not once did he even look at you after that jump serve he pulled off when you came in.. 

He was doing it because it exhilarated him. You could see it even better now that you’re watching closely, unlike before where you only viewed the game from a great distance because his fans always took the nearest available space.

You never cheered for him vocally because it would just be drowned out by loud cheers. But in this court devoid of ear-splitting squeals, your throat itched to yell out his name. 

But it would be weird. It’s not like he’s getting points himself. His setting makes the hitters score but it still wasn’t from him technically.

“Here!” He yelled.

Did he really call for the toss? Is he going to attack? You didn’t take your eyes off him as he jumped off a floor ready to spike, only for his body to slightly twist mid-air and raise his other arm for a set. 

You’re sure everyone was as astounded as you are. Even the blockers from the opposing team were half-pissed and half-amazed at his display of dexterity in handling the ball. 

Unable to help yourself, you stood from your seat. “Nice toss, Oikawa-san!” 

But since no one else was there, your loud voice was heard not only by Oikawa but by everybody. The player that he tossed too got distracted as well. He was successful in spiking the ball but it didn’t travel towards the other side of the net, it was spinning towards you. 

It was fast, but you were able to react. With what little time you have, you get as far away as you could from where you saw the ball was heading. 

As you dodged, you came into conclusion that even if you didn’t spend most of the time studying, you still wouldn’t get into sports. You were not moving away from the ball, you were going to where it was exactly going. 

Then it was too late when you realized.

You received it perfectly with your face.

The ball bounced up as you stumbled on the floor from the impact.

That’s what you get from being dumb and suddenly cheering out of nowhere when the ball is still in play.

“Are you okay?”

You looked up and saw the player that hit you. You would nod but you didn’t want to move your head because your brain felt like it jiggled from being struck.

You were going to say something but when you moved your mouth, you winced from the pain on your cheek. 

The player was horrified. “I’m so sorry.” You must look like you’re in a lot of pain. You want to act that you’re fine but the throbbing in your cheek made it impossible. In fact, tears were prickling in the corner of your eyes from the pang that was gradually setting in. He crouched and peered closely at the side of your face that was hit. 

“Move.” The player stilled at the sound of Oikawa’s low and dangerous command. The player scrammed on his feet to get away from there as quickly as he could. 

But when Oikawa stooped down to look at you, his eyes were full of concern. 

“Let’s go treat that.”

With your dizziness and trembling lips that hurt when you try to speak, you waved one to signal him ‘no.’ You didn’t want to intervene in the game. They’re already on the last set. You’ll just toughen it up until it ends.

“Hey,” he called the attention of the player just now who was fretting in place. You’re not sure if he was worried about you or worried that Oikawa would snap at him.

“Get someone to sub me out.” Oikawa was no longer the pleasant teammate he was. The order he gave was absolute and did not have any room for objections. “And get me some ice and first aid,” he added.

“Okay!” The player ran to their side of the court.

“Your lower lip is bleeding.” Even though his voice was stern, his eyes were soft. 

“Can you stand?” 

“Yea,” you whispered.

He held your hand to assist you in standing up. But as you got up on your feet, your vision spun. 

Oikawa didn’t fail to notice how your grip on his hand tightened. Your eyes were hazy before you closed them.

He didn’t bother asking you what was wrong. You obviously got dizzy from the sudden motion.

He pulled you to his chest, making sure that it was the unstricken side that was pressed to him. He held the back of your head to steady you as he let you recover from your dizzy spell.

It wasn’t the right time but he couldn’t help feeling good when you let him hold you close without you kicking up a fuss. 

When your grip loosened, he figured that you were starting to regain your balance again. 

“Hi! Here’s the first aid kit and the ice as you requested. If you want, I can treat her so you can get back to the game.”

He could tell it was their manager. It irked him that he had to request for those when she should’ve gotten those as an automatic response. To make things worse, he noticed that her attention wasn’t on you. It was on him. He saw the sparkling admiration in her eyes.

He had no plans getting back to the game when you’re hurt. More so now that someone else wanted to use your condition to do their bidding.

“No. I’m taking care of her.” 

“Oh. Okay.” She bowed and put down what she brought on the bench you were just sitting at, then went back to their side of the gym.

“Feel better?”

“A bit.” Your voice still wavered.

He let go of your head to grab the kit the manager gave. “Let’s go to the lockers.” 

You didn’t refuse so he took it as a yes since you couldn’t speak freely.

Once inside, he pushed a bench against the lockers so you can lean on something when he attends to you. He let you sit as he crouched in front of you.

At the first touch of the ointment at your grazed lip, you took a sharp breath.

“Does it really hurt that bad?” He asked quizzically. He’s been playing for so long that he got used to getting hit. Not to mention, Iwa-chan struck him way too frequently during training.

“I’m okay,” you said with wobbly lips and watery eyes. 

He should feel bad, but it was adorable how you toughen it up when it was plain as day that you were really in pain. If you were alone, you would’ve been bawling already.

When he reapplied the ointment, you winced again.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself trying not to cry, y/n-chan.”

Like a kid given permission to do so, you closed your eyes as tears trickled on your cheeks. 

“Mey feshe hurts se beerd!” You half sobbed and half spoke while avoiding to move the cut he just put ointment at. 

You were being such a wimp and he adored it. He raised his hand to the top of your head to pat you while his other hand stroked your knee gently to soothe.

“Aww, princess. It’s okay.”

You suddenly opened your eyes and looked at him with pink blotches on your cheeks that he wasn’t sure whether it was from your weeping or from what he said. 

Shit, he slipped. He didn’t intend to say that out loud. The reason he agreed to go to today's practice separately was because he wanted you to feel at ease with him again. It took him a while to convince you to actually spend time with him, so he’s wary that he might push you too hard that you’ll withdraw from him. 

He knew that he’s coming off aggressively to you, but he only kept it to a certain degree. He didn’t want to make you extremely uncomfortable. He just wanted you to get used to him. 

Instead of pointing out the endearment he accidentally voiced out, you sniffled while you wiped your tears. 

“Ishe pleash.” You eyed the first aid kit where the ice was on top of. 

He abided your request and took it upon himself to hold the bag of ice to your cheek. He continued staring at you while you made sure that you were looking anywhere but him. 

“Didn’t you play any sport?” He asked. 

“No.” You moved your mouth as if you were checking if still stung, then gave a sigh of relief. The sting probably eased up. “Only during PE class,” your words no longer garbled. “I don’t think I’m cut out for any physical activity,” you added. 

“Ehhh? But you received that ball so well. You knew exactly where it was going.”

You frowned at him, attempting to look mad, but he could see the humiliation winning over your face. 

He laughed, the sound bouncing off the metal lockers as it was empty except from you two. 

When he recovered from his amusement, you looked like a defeated puppy. “It really hurt a lot when it hit me,” you mumbled. 

“I know.” 

This time, you didn’t look away from him. His levity was dissolved in the tension that was permeating the room. Your eyes held his as you both didn’t say anything. Only the sounds from the court could be heard.

You held a familiar glint in your eyes, the one he saw the other night. You looked like you didn’t know what to do.

It was bad. 

The small cut on your lip didn’t make it any less appealing and if you’re going to keep that ambivalent facade, he might actually give in to his urge for a repeat of that night.

He went an inch closer, probing how further you’d let him get away with. Then another inch after the other, until the rhythm of your breathing changed. 

He removed the ice bag from your cheek and put it down without breaking the eye contact. He slowly traced his hand that was on your knee up until it was resting on the bare skin of your thigh just below the fabric of your shorts. It was silky smooth and he had to consciously restrain himself from getting more handsy.

Damn it. You should really say something now. 

“I-” you interjected. 

“Hmm?” He’d immediately get his hands off you if you asked him to.

But there you were again, aware of what’s about to happen but clueless on how to respond. 

He’s had it from there. He gave you a lot of time to refuse. If you couldn’t decide for yourself, then he’d do it for you. 

He lightly clutched your thigh before propping himself up to close the remaining gap between your lips.

“Nee-san!!”

“Fuck,” he cursed lowly right on your mouth that was only a breath away. He could almost taste you already. 

You both turned to Shin who was standing frozen on the doorway. He made sure his glare was enough to let your cousin know that he interrupted something.

“Oh.” Shin’s face went beat red upon figuring out what he just walked into. “I’m sorry!” He bowed exaggerated exactly like how you usually do and made sure to close the door before he ran back to the court. 

You covered your face with your hands but instantly took them away. “Ow,” you exclaimed.

Oikawa sighed with frustration as he raised the ice bag again and gently put it to your face. He should have accepted Shin’s offer earlier to get the lockers to himself when he wanted to.

With Shin’s intrusion, he managed to tamper his craving to touch and hold you inappropriately. He also took it as a sign that it wasn’t the best time. It probably would’ve hurt if he kissed you with that cut, even though it was only a tiny one. 

After a few more minutes, you let him know it didn’t stiung as much anymore. You two went back to the court with the games already finished. 

He asked you to wait a bit as he gathered the players and told them what he noticed while playing with them. When he was done, everyone thanked him and commended him, as they should. 

He was about to go to the locker room to change back to his casual clothes when the guy who spiked a ball at you approached him. 

“I’m so sorry,” said guy apologized, which he found annoying. You’re the one the guy hit, not him. 

“Ha?”

“I didn’t mean to hit your girlfriend.” Girlfriend? That sounded nice. On second thought, the guy wasn’t so bad. And he was a forgiving man who could overlook that horrendous misplay. 

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” he said graciously, not bothering to correct what the hitter assumed. He waved at him dismissively and went ahead so you wouldn’t wait too long.

When he got back to you, Shin was right beside you. 

“Oikawa-san!! Let me treat you to something as thanks,” your cousin suggested.

“No need to. We have plans.” 

“We do?” You reiterated, unable to grasp what he meant. He smiled amicably at you. “Yes, we do.”

“Okay. Have a good evening!” Shin said before you could even ask anything. Luckily, your cousin gets it. 

“Come on,” he said as he turned around and headed outside.

“I didn’t know we had other plans,” you stated with bewilderment. 

“This is the plan, y/n-chan.”

He glanced at you from his peripheral to see your reaction. “Ah,” your mouth opened as it finally sunk in your head what he was insinuating earlier. 

It was too early for dinner as the sun was only beginning to set. So he decided to just take you straight home.

He thought you were going to make a big deal out of it again but you just stayed silent and walked beside him. You looked straight ahead, but he knew your mind was somewhere else. He was about to ask but you beat him to it.

“You miss it, don’t you?”

It was an abrupt and heavy question, causing him to fail taking his next step.

It was a vague question but he knew exactly what you were referring to. 

You immediately noticed and stopped walking as well. 

“Oh, sorry! I didn’t mean to pry or anything,” you said defensively with panic gradually settling in yours as you realized it was something he didn’t take lightly.

“Yea,” he answered before you could fully cower to your timid self.

“I do miss Volleyball,” he confessed with a poignant smile as he started walking again, slower than usual.

You went with his pace as curiosity replaced the alarmed look on your face.

Even though you haven’t followed up with another question yet, he already figured out what it would be. You’ve already asked it previously too.

Now he’s ready to answer you.

It was a sour topic but he didn’t mind being honest with you. You could see right through him anyways. It made him at ease to let you in on his internal struggle since he wouldn’t have to hide anything from you.

“But I’m not good enough to stand in the court I want to play at.” He glanced sideways to see your reaction.

If a question mark had a face, it would probably be the one you’re wearing. Maybe he was too poetic or that it was too obscure for someone only watching from afar.

“I don’t understand. You deserve to play on the best court there is.”

He never should have underestimated you. He did the first time you met and it was a mistake doing so again for your words fanned a flame in him that he thought himself put out already.

But he couldn’t let that happen.

“It’s nice you think so, y/n-chan,” he responded cheerfully before his voice dropped drastically, “but there are geniuses out there,” he paused as he was about to say something that fueled his insecurity, “and I’m not one of them.”

“What are you then?”

He gave you an over the top smile that holds no authenticity to it. “I’m just a good-looking guy who works harder than everybody else.”

Without even pausing to think, you responded right away. “Is there really a need to be a genius then?”

He knew he was a good player. He was even convinced that he was the greatest. But as he continued playing his beloved sport, he was easily overwhelmed by people who seemed like they were born to play Volleyball. 

That was why he just gave it up. 

With modeling, he didn’t have to try so hard. 

He didn’t enjoy it as much, but it made him feel good about himself. It felt like he was perfect for it. So instead of forcing himself on Volleyball, he chose modeling.

However, you thought differently. You believed that he didn’t have to be some sort of prodigy to play on a higher level. 

He felt even more conflicted. 

“I’m not sure, but that’s no longer relevant since I already quit, y/n-chan.”

“Unquit then,” you said plainly.

The way you always have a quick counter got his resolve reeling. His thoughts about the issue were in knots for months but you threaded through it simply in just a matter of minutes. 

“You can always go back, right? If you really wanted to, I mean.” You added, oblivious to the turmoil your upfront words were causing. 

“Do you think I should play again?” he asked since that’s what seemed to be the purpose of your initial statement that brought forth the current discussion. 

“I think you should do whatever makes you happy, Oikawa-san. I don’t really mind whatever that is,” you smiled at him, then winced.

“Ow,” you touch your wounded lip. It must have been stretched when you smiled at him. 

“In a way, it’s good your cousin came when he did. It would’ve hurt if I kissed you, y/n-chan,” he deviated the topic back to you since his mind needed a break from the ponderous conversion you two were having. 

“Why would you do that? I have a cut on my lip.” You gently dabbed the graze again, probably to feel how much it still hurts. 

He grinned. You were totally unaware of the implication of your response.

“So, if you didn’t have a cut, you’d let me do it?”

You flinched, but kept your eyes straight ahead. Even though you avoided meeting his gaze, you couldn’t hide the pink tint on your cheeks as you sped up your strides. 

Not like it mattered since he could easily keep up. 

“Y/n-chaaaan. Answer me,” he pestered on, which worsened your blush. 

“I-” you were doing some awkward motions with your hands like it was helping you figure out what you wanted to say. But soon failed when you raised them in the air in the form of a surrender as you sighed defeatedly.

“I don’t know,” you admitted frustratingly. 

Too pure. You’re too fucking pure that he just found himself even more endeared to you. The inner workings of your mind were undecipherable wonders but when it comes to anything romantic, you become a transparent sheet that he could easily perceive. 

“Just say we’re dating already so you can say yes freely,” he teased further to which you didn’t answer. 

But your silence meant a lot because you no longer said ‘no’ either. 

—

‘Jose Blanco is here.’

Oikawa has been staring at the text message for a solid hour he received from their former coach. The person who made him want to be a setter, the one who lured him deeper into Volleyball as a child, was just around for him to see. 

Even though the message did not contain any details, he knew what his coach was trying to say. He could meet Blanco if he wanted to. 

And he does. 

Being with you made him look back on decision to quit. You opened the sealed passion he once held for Volleyball, but the willpower to go back is not yet there. 

Even so, he was already constructing a reply to send. “I’d like to meet him.”

He didn’t see any harm in doing so. He might even get answers to his unresolved doubts, and if he doesn’t, he’d have the honor of a private encounter with Jose Blanco. 

\--

You’re falling for Oikawa, dangerously hard and fast.

What were you expecting? To be friends even when he’s made it clear that he wants to date you? Your relationship with him was never platonic in the first place. The ‘hanging out’ front didn’t do you any good either. You’ve even kissed, and would have done it the second time if Shin didn’t pop out. 

You still think getting in a relationship with Oikawa would be complicated, but being around with him for weeks now, you realized that he could handle his fans when he needed to. He even told off one when you two were together. 

As for his schedule, the two of you meet pretty often and he texts you a lot. All those times you’ve met were initiated by him as well. You wouldn’t have to squeeze yourself in his life since he could find the time for you. 

Maybe it wasn’t as complicated as you thought. 

Although you’re still not sure why he likes you, you know that he’s serious about it. He did a lot of radical things just to get your attention and be with you. That’s good enough for now. That’s good enough for you to consider dating Oikawa. 

With fidgeting hands, you text him a message asking to meet up that day. You hope he’s free before your insecurity hits you and causes you to change your mind. 

‘I have something to do this morning. What about tonight? :)’

You can feel your heart pounding wildly against your chest while your fingers are trembling from agitation. 

Tonight, you’ll be officially dating Oikawa, the man you’ve deemed unreachable. 

Your cheeks were hurting from how wide your smile was. You’re legitimately a shoujo manga heroine now, getting the man every girl wants and every guy aspires to be. 

\-- 

You decided your rendezvous point to be at the park near your dormitory. Until the late afternoon, you couldn’t decide where to meet. You didn’t want to go to a restaurant or whatever because it’d be too crowded and you might falter if a fan approaches again. 

Your roommate is out, but no freaking way you’d invite him in. You’d rather take the crowded place than be alone in an enclosed space with him. 

You expected yourself to be nervous, but you’re actually more excited, probably because you already know that he likes you too. 

You won’t tell him just yet that you’re starting to love him. You’ll take baby steps. You’ll only let him know that you agree on dating instead of pretentiously hanging out. For now, that was enough. 

When he came into view looking as good as ever, you couldn’t stop your heart from beating as twice as fast as it normally does. 

He waves at you, which you return feebly since this is the first time for you to make the first move with him. The letter doesn’t count because you didn’t send it yourself.

You thank the dimness that engulfed the area for you were sure you were flushed.

“Hey, y/n-chan,” he greeted spritely but it was accompanied with a strained smile as he sat beside you.

“What’s wrong, Oikawa-san?” You immediately asked. It was not like him. He had a natural flippant attitude, but just now it sounded forced. 

“Hmm? Everything’s fine,” he said as put his hands on the pockets of his jacket while settling down on his seat. 

You only glared suspiciously at him. You could tell something was off.

He chuckled lightly when looked your way. “Do you have super observant powers, y/n-chan?”

Your glare of suspicion turned to a frown of confusion. “I don’t get it.”

He shook his head with a smile. “Nothing.” He leaned back on the back rest and shifted his gaze to the night sky. 

“I met with the person who inspired me to be a setter.”

You lifted your head up to the same sky he was looking at while waiting for the whole story. 

“He offered me some guidance and asked if I wanted to come with him to Argentina.”

Your gaze instantly returned to his with the news he gave. “Wow. That’s amazing, Oikawa-san! Are you going?”

A bittersweet smile formed on his lips as he faced you.

“Should I?”

Why was he looking at you like his answer depended on you? It didn’t matter what you thought, but you figured that he might still be conflicted since he looked like he wanted to go for it yet still reserved about it. 

“If you want to. Personally, I think you’d be great if you do.”

“And you love watching me play, right?”

You nodded for it was true. He’s at his absolute best with Volleyball. 

He scooted closer until you could feel his side pressed to yours. He grabbed one hand that was sitting on your lap and put it in his pockets as he intertwined it with his. 

“Oikawa-san?”

“It’s cold, y/n-chan. You wouldn’t want me getting sick, would you?” 

Yet his hand was the warm one, in contrast to yours which you realized was actually freezing. He gripped it tight as he returned his gaze to the moonless sky.

“I’m thinking of going pro,” he announced. 

You felt so proud and happy that he was able to make that decision knowing that it wasn’t an easy one for him. The last time you saw each other, he revealed his insecurities that ran so deep it made him quit something he cherished. 

So to hear that he managed to break out of it brings you joy. He wasn’t just going back to it, he’s also moving forward. 

But you couldn’t smile to congratulate him, the dread of him leaving invaded the joy you felt before it even completely set in. 

In the end, it was Oikawa himself who would end what you have before it even starts, and you couldn’t blame him for it. In fact, you were truly happy for him. He gets to play in a bigger stage like he wanted to, like he deserved to. He was meant to achieve greater things after all. 

It was your own naivety that made you think that you were someone he could actually be with. Even if he did want to, his own brilliance wouldn’t allow him. Just when you thought he was reachable, fate offers him to take a huge step towards his ambitions, a huge step away from you, making you come face to face with the harsh reality that he’s way too exceptional for an ordinary person like you. 

You couldn’t smile but you couldn’t cry too with two emotions clashing at each other with no arising winner. 

“Why did you ask to meet me?”

What came out of your mouth next was the first lie you dared tell him. “I just wanted to see you.” Or maybe it was because it wasn’t a complete lie that made it sound believable even to your ears. 

You expected him to tease you about it, but he’s probably too preoccupied with his own thoughts. 

You leaned your head on the backrest of the bench and joined him again in his silent viewing of the night, throwing out everything you were supposed to tell him tonight, together with the crushed hopes you had.

Just like the star you fixated gaze on, he was someone you could only stare yearningly at and never have.

So you relished the moment with your hand locked onto his. You held on to him while you still could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I’ll be writing the next chapter after the holidays (cause im working on a Bokuto smut fic).   
> \- Y’all telling me the story was cute when I already had the ending plotted out flattered me and also amused me im so sorry :(


	5. Chapter 5

It’s been more than two weeks since you last saw Oikawa, which wasn’t a surprise. You had no reason to be in touch with him anymore. Even if you like him back, it’s useless to pursue a relationship with him. 

He’s leaving for good. 

That’s why you couldn’t understand why he still texted his usual ‘good mornings’ and ‘good nights’. It was of no help to you and the damned romantic feelings you developed for him. 

There was one time that he asked if he could meet you again. When you asked why, he said he just wanted to see you. Unfortunately, you didn’t see the point in that. There was nothing he could gain from you and nothing more you could offer to him. So, you declined. 

Your phone vibrates in your pockets and when you check who it was, it’s the man you were just thinking about. 

You sigh. Oikawa can really be relentless, but you aren’t fazed. He’d give up soon as long as you keep saying no. 

“Yes, Oikawa-san?”

“You’re so cold, Y/N-chan. You sound like you’re fed up with me.” You shake your head with a faint smile. You could picture him moping from the way he sounded. 

“What is it?” You ask straight to the point. You don’t want to prolong the conversation because your defenses against him might weaken and you would end up agreeing to meet him.

“Can you tutor me in English?”

You stop walking to fully internalize what he just said. It makes sense for him to ask you to tutor him. You’ve told him you were fluent in the language and that was why you pursued it in uni. He probably needs to learn English before he flies for Argentina. You haven’t taught anyone but for him, you are willing to put the extra effort to teach. 

It’d be an honor for you to tutor him. Most importantly, you’d have a reason to be with him again.

Sprinkles of exuberance bloom in your chest at the thought that you’ll be able to see him again. It’s stupid, but it makes you glad that you can do something for him that will help him in his chosen path

“Y/N-chan? Helloooo?”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah, sure,” you answer with a shaking voice from the excitement of getting to see him again.

“Okay! When can we start?”

You squirm from where you are standing. You just got out of class and you had nothing to do, but you might seem too eager if you said you could meet right away. 

“Uhh. When do you want to start, Oikawa-san?”

“What about, hmm, now?”

It’s pompous of him to assume that you’re free without asking, but your heart’s racing. You didn’t think that you’d see him instantly, but you weren’t going to complain because you want to.

“T-that’s fine.” Crap, you planned to seem cool about it but your own mouth has failed you.

He must have noticed because he tithers from the other end of the call. 

“See you at the cafe where we first  _ hung out _ then. Ciao~”

—

Your original plan was the cafe, but as you stand in front of Oikawa’s doorstep, you wish you thought of this more thoroughly. 

You were so excited to see him that you forgot how a fan interrupted your conversation at said cafe last time you went there. 

Today was worse. As soon as you entered the cafe, some were already staring at you two, their gazes lingering at Oikawa as soon as they passed you by.

He immediately suggested that you leave the place. You had the same thought since you wouldn’t be able to concentrate knowing that there would be eyes on him. He asked you where else could you possibly have some kind of privacy. 

Cafes were no longer an option since he might still be recognized even if you transferred to another one. He’s not allowed in the university library because he doesn’t have an ID for access. You couldn’t have him in your dorm because you have a roommate and she knew Oikawa. You wouldn’t want her ogling at him while he’s there.

So when you ran out of choices and he said he has a place where no one will interrupt, you immediately agreed.

He said ‘he has a place,’ but it didn’t cross your mind that it was literally his place, his apartment.

He opens his door, goes in, and takes his shoes off.

“What’s wrong, Y/N-chan?”

You blink and redirect your gaze to him. You realize that you’ve been gawking at nowhere right at his doorway. 

“Is this okay?”

He frowns but eyes you with amusement. “Why would this not be okay?”

“Don’t you live alone?”

“Uh huh. So?”

You fiercely shake your head. “Nothing.” You feel dumb. He hasn’t done anything to make you nervous. He’s been behaving nicely since you two met again that afternoon. It’s all and your  _ weird _ thoughts. 

You pray that you look okay as you want to be as you enter his unit. 

You thought he lives somewhere a bit fancy, but his abode is simpler than what you imagined. It isn’t outdated or old-looking, but it kept some traditional Japanese household aspects with its interior and design. 

“Are we going to do it on the floor?” You ask, referring to how you’re going to sit on the floor with the chabudai as the only surface you could see in the room.

Oikawa raises an eyebrow, then breaks into a grin while he looks at you intently. “If you’re comfortable doing it on the floor, then sure.”

You immediately look away. There was nothing wrong or indecent about the exchange you just had, but you couldn’t look straight at him with the playful hints his smile exudes.

You sit down and take out stuff you could use to teach him. What you need is just a pen and a notebook, but your nerves make you take out even some of your books that will be of no use since they are too advanced for someone who has no or little knowledge of English. 

He sits down beside you, his close presence distracting you. You do your best to stay composed. You have no reason to push him away since it’s expected for him to sit near you.

“So.. how much English do you know, Oikawa-san?” You head straight to it to ground your thoughts.

“ _ Little only, _ ” he answers in English.

Before you start on the actual lesson, you want to gauge how much he knows so you can plot out how you’ll be teaching him. 

“I can understand some, but I can’t speak fluently like you,” he adds. 

“I’ll ask some questions and try to answer them, okay?”

He raises his hand with an okay sign with his thumb and index finger forming a round shape while three fingers remain up. “Oke, sensei-chan!”

“ _ What’s your name? _ ”

“Tooru Oikawa.”

“ _ How’s the weather today? _ ”

“ _ It was nice? Sunny. _ ”

“ _ How are you feeling? _ ”

“ _ Amazing _ ! _ ” _

_ “What did you have for lunch?” _

He pauses for a bit. “Can you say that again slowly?”

You do as he asked. “Ahhh. Lunch.  _ I ate katsudon.” _

You nod approvingly. “That’s a nice start, Oikawa-san.” He understands basic greetings and phrases. He could also form simple sentences, which would make the tutoring easier since you wouldn’t have to start from scratch. 

“Tell me the most complicated phrase you can come up with.”

“Uhhh.” He purses his lips and looks up as he thinks of an answer. It doesn’t take him long when he looks right back at you again. 

“ _ I like you more than you know _ , Y/N-chan.”

That was indeed complicated, a complication that made you unable to respond. 

It was a statement uttered as he regards you amorously. His eyes scan your face until they fall on your lips.

You have no clue how much Oikawa missed you. He could’ve gotten a certified English tutor. But why would he do that when he was certain you’d agree if he asks you? It would save him the time, effort, and money. But most importantly, he’d get to be with you again.

He knows you don’t want to spend time with him anymore, but he can’t let you go just yet. He wants to spend his remaining days in Japan with you.

There is no sense in dating—actually it’s ‘trying to date,’—you anymore. He’s going to chase the dream you led him on to. So he told himself he’d be nice and keep his hands to himself. It’s enough that you’re just around. 

But he didn’t expect that he’d get you all to himself in the confines of his room. You look so adorable with your attempt to not to look nervous when you yourself make it hard to not notice. The stutter, the fidgeting, the muted tint on your face, the way you avoid his gaze - they’re not exactly subtle. 

He’s been trying his best. Then you had to ask that poorly worded question of doing it on the floor to which he still responded properly considering the inappropriate thoughts he had. 

But those are nothing compared to how you are now, bewildered eyes, parted lips, and unbearably close to him. What tempted him the most is how you weren’t even trying. 

You’re just gaping at him while he let his attraction for you take control of him. He descends slowly to your face, wanting to savor how you look before he claims those lips that he couldn’t stop thinking about.

You turn away and let out a shaky breath. “Uuhhh. T-That was really good, Oikawa-san.” You open a notebook and start writing in Romaji.

You’re aware of what he was about to do. If not, your writing wouldn’t have wriggled from how your fingers are quivering.

He’s surprised. You didn’t verbalize it, but you refused him. It stings a bit, but he easily understands why.

You know as much as he does that nothing good would come out from continuing what you two have. 

—

Days quickly passed bay, which quickly turned to weeks, into months until it was almost time for Oikawa to go. 

He gradually stopped modeling to prepare for his migration to Argentina. 

He stopped pushing the ‘hanging out’ agenda and only met with you for tutoring sessions. Although he was still a bit flirtatious at times, he never tried to cross the line again like he did when you first went to his apartment. You’re grateful that he got the message even without actually saying it. You both never spoke of the incident and went on with a seemingly peaceful, amicable relationship.

Seemingly.

Even though you two are like friends of some sort, you could never see him as one. He will always be the great Tooru Oikawa to you, the most inspiring person you know, and most unattainable too. 

During the four to five times you’d meet for your tutorials in a week, you only sunk deeper, going back and forth the boundary of loving him and supporting him until you weren’t sure which you were doing. 

Even though he could self-study, you made it a point to go every time you could to speed up his learning. When he’s busy with the exercises you give, you work on your uni courses. 

He really is amazing though. In the span of five months, he can hold a decent conversation with you. He could even construct complex sentences with slang English words in them. His vocabulary memorization is impressive too. He could memorize 40 words a day, 50 if he feels like it.

Even when you’re not around, you could easily deduce that he’s been studying on his own. You already thought so highly of him and for him to go beyond that made you wish that you could have even just an ounce of what he has. You keep questioning whether he’s not really a genius as he pointed out because you honestly think he is. 

That’s why you couldn’t understand how he’s acting right now. 

“ _ No more, please, _ ” he whines with his face buried on his arms that are resting on the chabudai.

“One more exercise, Oikawa-san and we’re done,” you try to motivate him. He might be getting burnt out from the non-stop sessions for the past months, but you’re almost done for the day if he could just push it through. 

He lets out a muffled, “No.” 

He props himself up and faces you looking like a sad emoji that took human form. “I really can’t anymore, Y/N-chan. Do you hate me or something? Why are you making me suffer like this?” 

“I’m not! I just- This is important and I only want-”

He suddenly laughs, his expression easing up. “You looked so guilty, Y/N-chan. So cute!”

Before, you would’ve been flustered but you got used to it from being with him frequently. 

“You could’ve been done by now, Oikawa-san.” You meant to sound strict but you just sounded like you were pleading for him to get it over with. 

“Let’s just watch a movie,  _ please _ !!” He puts his hands together in a prayer and bowed. You usually gave him movie assignments to develop his listening skills. It’s what made him improve his conversational English. But a lot of times, he’d deviate from your assignment which were disney films. Instead, he’d watch whatever interested him, which was why he learned slang words.

You look at the time. You would oblige but it’s already past nine in the evening. If he did the exercise, he’d be done at around thirty minutes. 

“It’s already late, Oikawa-san.”

“I’m leaving in a week, Y/N-chan. Won’t you even grant me this one last wish of mine?”

You know that he’s just making you feel guilty, yet you still feel bad. You defeatedly sigh. “Okay, fine.”

His face instantly brightens up.

“You decide what to watch.” He hands you the remote and stands up. Instead of choosing an appropriate film to watch, your sight follows him as he pulls the floor couch that was against the wall. 

When he tows it just behind where you’re seated, he lazily sits himself on it. “ _ Waaah _ , that feels good,” he exclaims with his eyes closed and his head rested against the cushioned backrest. 

After a few seconds, he faces you and taps the seat next to him as he shoots you a pleasant smile. 

Your back is aching a bit so you accept the silent invitation.

“I hope it’s not one of those cartoons again.”

You haven’t really decided yet, but he gave you an idea. 

“Why not? You asked me to choose. Besides, how many times have you actually watched them when I ask you to?”

He looks at his phone and whistles as if he didn’t hear you.. 

“We’re watching Lilo and Stitch. I liked this one a lot as a kid.”

“What’s it about?” He asked while still scrolling through his phone. He’s probably looking for a movie himself because he never liked your Disney and Dreamworks film assignment. 

“It’s about an alien dog and his alien friends sent to Earth.” 

He stops dithering on his phone and stands up straight. “Let’s watch that.”

You’re a bit shocked at his sudden change of heart, but you won’t mention it. You’re just glad that he doesn’t disagree with your choice of movie this time. 

Even though you’re sitting next to him, you deliberately put space between you two. You could enjoy the movie that way since you won’t be extremely conscious of him being so near. 

You watched the movie way back when you were still in middle school and you can’t remember the scenes anymore. It’s like watching it for the first time again which makes it really fun for you, but not as fun as it is for him. He’s been beaming at the screen this whole time. 

For Oikawa, this has been the most fun animated movie you’ve suggested, unlike the silly ones you gave him before that made him want to stop watching. He can’t believe you expected him to sit through a guy with a long pointed nose and bunch of yellow egg monsters with their nonsense.

At least this one isn’t as absurd. Pleakley, the one eyed alien, is fucking hilarious. 

You seem to agree when you burst in laughter at his scene. He finds it funny too but is distracted from how you’re patting his thigh while you’re laughing. When you recover, your hand doesn’t move away and remains there.

You turn to him while you’re wiping tears of glee from your eyes with your other hand. You only notice when he looks down on his thigh. 

“Oh.” You remove it but instead of being embarrassed, you grin happily. “Sorry, I tend to do that when it’s too funny,” you explain. 

He loves it. He loves seeing you glowing from joy and not apologizing after. He wishes you would do it more often. But even if you do, he wouldn’t be there to see it anymore. 

He should’ve done things like this with you. He could’ve had a lot of memories of you smiling at him, with him, to bring along when he leaves.

“Y/n-chan.”

“Hmm?” 

He takes in that wonderful smile of yours before asking, “Can I hold you?”

Your smile fades into confusion. “Hold me how?”

He crosses the small distance you set between you two and puts an arm around you. 

“Like this.”

You shrink within his hold, obviously frightened of his proximity. “I won’t do anything, silly. I just want to feel you like this.”

You take a moment, weighing what he just said before your eyes soften up as you nod. 

He doesn’t prod any more than that to prevent you from squirming away from him. He gets the remote and rewinds the film. “Alright, let’s see what we missed.”

As the movie goes on, you become less and less rigid. You are more focused on the film now, contrary to him who’s more focused on your tiny, adorable, reactions. You even snuggle closer to him when Stitch, the alien dog as you put it, wants to say goodbye to Lilo. You squeeze his hand with a woeful look in your face. 

He watched you instead of the movie. You were more entertaining and far more fascinating. 

When credits rolled, you clap softly. You must have forgotten that it was supposed to be for learning purposes. 

“Thank you,” he says softly.

“Um, sure? It was just a movie, Oikawa-san.”

He snickers. You’re smart but also dumb. 

“I mean for being here and tutoring me. You really didn’t have to. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, but I wanted to.”

He’d been a saint for the past months being alone with you in his home. You gave a lot of openings and he painfully ignored them all because he knew they were not on purpose. You were just being you, beautiful and completely oblivious.

But right now with you settled within his grasp, he sees a dash of yearning in your eyes. It’s hypnotizing, intricately alluring him to think that you want something from him, something you previously denied him of. He can just go for it, quickly sweep you even closer, and experience how delightful your lips are pressed against him.

He can, but he won’t.

You're probably just tired and so is he. He takes the remote that was on his other side and turns off the TV. 

“Let’s get you home then.” He withdraws his arm around you and forces a smile to dissipate the thick pull of temptation that was creeping on his spine. 

“Oikawa-san.” It was almost a whisper.

“Yeah?”

The longing in your orbs is no longer just minute sprinkles of it. It’s evident and unmistakable, scintillating right before him and making himself want to immerse in the delectable promises it holds. 

But before he even gives in to his urges, you shift in your seat, grip his shoulder next to you, and lift yourself up to do what he’s always wanted to: taste you. 

He doesn’t even have the time to be surprised as the plumpness of your lips overrules the rest of his senses. He already accepted that he’ll never experience how your lips feel again. To do so once again seems unreal. 

He cups your cheek as he responds to your kiss, nipping your bottom lip before pulling away very slightly to graze his thumb over it. 

“You taste like heaven, you know that?” He murmurs against your mouth as his gaze drifts from your lips to your eyes.

You part your lips, either to catch your breath or to respond, but he doesn’t allow you to as he uses it as a chance to deepen the kiss. He grabs your waist to close whatever space exists between you. 

The slick warmth of your tongue against his only spurs him to take it further, to have more of you, to explore and taste every part there is. He indulges himself and drags his lips down on your neck, leaving a trail of kisses. 

When his lips discovers a spot where you inhaled sharply upon contact, he sweeps his tongue across it and sucks it. 

“ _ Mmmm. _ ” 

It was only tiny, soft moan, but holy shit, it sounded too good that he just wants to shove you on this couch and fuck you to hear how you’ll scream his name in throes of passion. 

He raises his head to see how you’re faring with what’s happening. 

Your half-lidded eyes are watching him as well, paired with swollen almost red lips that are coaxing him to nibble on them again. 

But he’s impatient. He needs  _ all _ of you. 

He quickly discards his shirt, throwing it on the floor before giving in to the way your mouth is luring him back to it. He doesn’t let you breathe this time, devouring your lips until you run out of air while his one hand skillfully unbuttons your blouse.

Once the last button is untucked, he lets his palm venture the bare skin of your waist up to your clothed bosom which he doesn’t hesitate to give a firm squeeze. 

Your hands do the same to his shoulders as you deliver a moan right on his mouth.

He places his hand on the back of your head as he hurriedly guides to lie down on the couch. He can have you again on his bed later, but he needs you right there and then. 

He thanks the heavens that you aren’t wearing one of your jeans. With your cotton jogging pants, he doesn’t even need to completely take them off for what he has in mind. 

When he’s settled you comfortably on your back, he gets back to your chest which he deems requires his attention. Before his hands travel to your back to unclasp your bra, he catches sight of the tiny metal clasp that was in front of him. 

He smirks. Your choice of clothing is making it too easy for him.

He plants open mouthed kisses on the supple tops of your breasts as he unclasps the metal lock. Before he digs in, he sits up straight to get a good look at how unclad you are. 

You immediately notice and cross your arms against your chest as the flush in your cheeks gets more pronounced. You look so precious, so innocent and pure. He can’t wait until lust and wanton needs take over you and replace that outward innocence you have.

He takes both of your wrists and pins your hands on the sides of your head. “You’re so pretty. Why are you hiding it, Y/N-chan?”

Your eyes show tiny hints of fear and hesitation. “Oikawa-san, I’m..” You turned your head to side to avoid his piercing stare. “I-” 

He silences whatever you’re going to say when he gently bites the spot he aimed for earlier. If you want out, you have to blatantly say it. But he won’t be giving you any chance to change your mind. You’re the one who initiated it, yet he’s sure that it’s one of those chances that only comes once. He’s not letting that one chance slip up. 

With his mouth on the skin of your neck, one hand lets go of yours and ventures on your bare breast to grope the soft mound. He dips further down and takes the other boob in his mouth, immediately lapping at your nipple while his deft fingers tweak the other one. 

You arch your back while your free hand clutches his bicep. 

“ _ Oohh. _ ” Your pleasured groan makes him release your other hand. He inserts it inside your pants without wasting any second and traces the moistness of your folds. He settles his middle finger on the hardened pearl just above it and strokes languidly in circles. 

Your grip on his arm tightens as your throat produces sultry sounds that heightened his growing lust. 

He slowly pushed his finger in, which earned him a surprised yelp from you.

Your panic-stricken eyes divert to him. He hoists himself to your face, his cheek brushing yours as he whispers in your ear, “I know you want this.”

As soon as you mewl at his words, he inserts another digit in. 

With how wet you are, he’s sure he can easily plunge it in. Yet, you only get tighter and tighter as he goes deeper. Until he finally realizes why. 

He immediately pulls his fingers out and faces you, stupefied at what he finds out. 

“Are you - ?”

“I tried to tell you. Sorry.” You bite your lip and take your glance off of his.

What the hell are you sorry for? It’s his fault for letting his desire cloud his head. He thought you were just being coy because it’s him, you’re getting physical with. He didn’t think that you are actually a virgin. 

Sure, you’re awkward and reserved around him, but you’re way too pretty for no one else to hit on you. You even had your set of admirers that he competed against when he first chased you at your university grounds. 

Guilt hits him. If you were any other girl, he wouldn’t care. If they offer themselves to him, he wouldn’t give a shit virgin or not, they asked for it. But this is you. You aren’t just any other girl. And you didn’t ask for it. You just kissed him and he assumed that you wanted to just because you went along with it. 

Your first time shouldn’t be like that.

He pulls your blouse over your chest to cover your bareness and draws you to an embrace. “I’m so sorry.” He tries to fake a laugh to ease his remorse but he can’t even muster a smile. “I was out of line,” he admits. 

He starts buttoning your blouse when your hands grip his knuckles with your eyes fixated on them.

“You weren’t. I was just a bit scared.”

His initial urge is to jump on you on that indirect permission, but he thwarts himself. Instead, he alternates the position of his hands so that it covers yours instead. 

“Are you sure you want this?” 

You’re still self-conscious but you nod without hesitation.

“I want you.” He never imagined he’d hear those from you. He’d tell himself he’s just making it up in his head but the authenticity of it reflects on your face.

“Look at me and tell me again,” he orders. 

You reluctantly raise your gaze to him. “I want you, Oikawa-san.”

It gave him shivers. He’s heard others tell it to him before, but not the way you did. You don’t want to just get physically intimate. You want everything there is to him. Despite the circumstances, you still do. 

He scoops you into his arms and stands up. 

Your limbs instantly wrap around his neck for support when you feel your feet leave the ground. You don’t know which to say first. Where’s he taking you, what’s he doing, or put you down? You just stutter trying to get something out. 

“Your first time won’t be in that wretched couch.”

You observe how somber he suddenly is compared to how he was a while ago, diverting your fiddling worries aside.

He gently lies you down on his futon, leaving you no chance to study his room as he gets on top of you right away. He tucks away strands of hair that you aren’t aware was on your face. 

“I can stop any time you change your mind,” he softly tells you. 

“I don’t want you to.”

He closes his eyes as if he’s struggling with something. But before you can ponder on it, his mouth is already falling on yours again. 

He slowly peels away every piece of clothing with no resistance from you. You even help him as you lift your hips so he can remove your pants which were followed by your underwear. 

“You’re beautiful, Y/N,” he hums to your ear. You feel like melting from how he dropped the -chan he usually addresses you with and the tender utterance that you never expect to receive from him. 

His hands freely roam on your body, tracing each curve and nook until his lips do the same. 

When he pries your legs open, you fight it off and try to shield the spot from his stare. Your insecurities are taking over you. You feel so unworthy for him to be doing this to you. 

But your strength is nothing against his as he spreads them further apart and easily removes your hands away. He gets down on eye level with your groin which makes you even more conscious. 

“Oikawa-san, you don’t have to!”

He traps your hands as he intertwines it with his, using them to keep you sprawled open for him.

“I know.”

His mouth seems warmer against the skin of your thigh as he lightly deposits kisses on it and the other. You gasp when you feel his tongue near your folds, tracing the sides of it, clearly avoiding your crevice. 

Your head is getting cloudy with wanton. You close your fists, but his hands are firmly holding them which results in your nails scraping against his knuckles. 

He keeps conforming to the direction his tongue initially sets in until you’re heaving with need. He stops and looks at you. As if right on cue, he finally grants your unspoken plea and licks the slit of your opening. 

“ _ Ahhh! _ ”

But instead of relief, you only crave for more. 

He repeats the motion, but stops on the bundle of nerves above it. He flicks his tongue over and over, sucking on it whenever he feels like it. 

He takes away his hands which causes yours to tug his hair instead. 

He resumes his earlier attempt and pushes a finger in. He pumps inside you at a gradual pace as he continues savoring your bud. 

When he inserts a second finger, the stretch almost drives you mad. His mouth and fingers do inexplicable things to your being. You’re not completely innocent. You’ve pleasured yourself too, but that was incredibly different from this.

When his fingers speed up, you become a whimpering, squirming mess. 

“Oikawa-san!” You can’t help but yell for him as the pleasure is unfurling too fast. Your thighs are quivering, a delicious coil in the pit of your stomach making its presence known. 

He stops and hurriedly removes his remaining clothes. 

You wonder how he can call you beautiful when he looks this glorious in his nakedness. You start to think you’re just dreaming. It seems unreal that the man kneeling before you will be your first sexual experience. 

He reaches for something in the wooden drawer beside his bed. It's a plastic packet which he tears and unrolls its contents on his shaft. You watch him as he gives himself a couple of pumps, big hands wrapped around the thick girth, lust pooling his dark eyes and you feel yourself clench around nothing. You want  _ more _ .

He hovers above you and leans downs for a kiss, making you taste yourself on his mouth. He aligns his hard member on your folds, seeking its entrance.

Both of you moan as he sinks himself in you.

It hurts. His fingers are not at par with how he’s stretching you open right now. He sheaths himself deeper, causing you to dig your nails on the flesh of his shoulders. 

He must have noticed your pain when he suddenly stills. “Let’s stop here.”

You open your eyes and witness the contrast of worry and burning need on his face. He starts to withdraw.

“No!” You wrap your legs on his hips and yank him further in you. It hurts, but you don’t care. You want him. You want him etched in you in every possible way. 

“Goddamnit.” He resumes your attempt and thrusts himself completely inside you, a scream erupting from your throat at the sharp pang. He plants both palms on your cheeks and claims your mouth. 

“You okay, princess?” 

Your eyes are glossy with unshed tears as you bob your head. He let his hands wander on your body, stopping on one boob, kneading it, and the other on the softness of your thigh, caressing its sides. 

Your distressed expression is dissolving bit by bit, carnal ache replacing its wake. 

He begins moving, pulling out slowly and burrowing himself again on your tightness. It’s both hell and heaven for him. You feel magnificent, too fucking magnificent that he wants to pummel himself crazy into you. 

When he closes his eyes, all he can do is relish how good your walls are sucking him. When he opens them, he can see how exquisite you look beneath him. 

“Oikawa-san,” you whisper. 

“Call me by name.”

“Oika-”

“My  _ real  _ name,” he stresses out. 

Your already flushed face turns crimson, astounded and embarrassed by his request. 

“Even just for tonight.”

You inhale. “T- _ Tooru _ .” The way his name rolls off your tongue is better than he expected. “Faster, Tooru.  _ Please _ .”

It was a terrible idea. His name and ‘faster’ in one sentence is more than he can handle. “Careful, princess. I don’t want to be rough. I want this to be as pleasurable as possible for you.”

“You can be rough with me.”

He fiercely grabs on the last piece of self-control he’s holding. You have no idea what your words did to him. You have no idea what ‘rough’ could possibly entail when this is your first experience of being tainted by lascivious desires. 

“Don’t say things like that.”

He goes faster, unable to restrain himself. He takes a mouthful of your breast, swirling his tongue on the surface and sucking the perk bud. 

Your lewd whines are music to his ears, urging him to snap his hips more hastily. The obscene sounds coming from your mouth and your tight cunt are coaxing him to go wild, to roughen you up like you asked. 

“Tooru, it feels so good _ hnnnghh _ .” Your eyes are closed shut with your mouth gaping as strings of moans set off from you. 

Fuck. He could feel himself about to cum already.

He lifts himself off of you and spreads your thighs further. He rubs your clit frantically to push you at the edge where he’s currently standing. Your pussy clamps on him even tighter as your legs begin to quiver. 

You harshly grip on your pillow, hoping to ease the pressure that’s building up too quickly on your groin. He’s hitting places that you never reached on your own. His fingers on your bud escalates the overwhelming pleasure even higher. 

You start to panic. The sensation is completely foreign and yet you’re about to succumb to it any moment now. 

“Slow down! Feels  _ ahhhh _ too good. Please!”

He leans down on you again, but his hand on your clit and the speed of his thrust doesn’t falter. He cups your neck and licks the shell of your ear. Then he looks straight at you. 

“Let go, princess. Cum for me.” 

The rapture in your face makes him lose whatever sliver of control he’s been holding. He ruts violently into you, milking your orgasm as he chases his own.

“ _ Tooru! _ ”

“Shit!” 

His grip on your waist is brutal, carving himself on your skin as he spills his load. 

He pants heavily, steadying his breathing before he opens his eyes and reveals the splendor of your body that just came undone because of him. 

He unsheathes himself and removes the condom. He throws it in the bin without moving from his position, then lies down beside you. 

You’re still catching your breath when it creeps up on you. The peak you reached was so high that the fall after that was drastic and dire. 

He’ll be gone in days’ time. 

That was all you could do. That was the most you could get from him - a measly bite, a mere taste of what it’s like to have him. It was the first and will also be the last time. You avoided anything that could lead to physical intimacy with him, but with his last days with you, you wanted something precious you could hold on to when he’s gone.

You thought you’d be satisfied. Instead, you’re left with a harrowing void that only he could fill but at the same time couldn’t. 

You were a moth to his flame. You believed you stayed far enough to not get burned but he shone brighter and brighter each day that you caught fire just by being there. 

You grab the crumple blanket beside you and cover yourself with as you sit up. It physically hurts. You feel like your chest is about to explode since all you’ve done is convince yourself that you’re happy for him. You ignored the loneliness that came with it. 

Now that the other side of the coin exposes its ugly facade, you have no choice but to face it. The torment knowing that the hands of time are closing in on both of you, your unprofessed love, your broken hopes of getting together - you take it all once. 

You don’t want to cry, but even with your repeated blinking to keep the tears at bay, they fall regardless. 

You cover your face with your hands as a pathetic attempt to stop the the stupid waterworks and the sob that was threatening to implode. You don’t want to see him like this but the agony renders you paralyzed at where you are sitting. 

Oikawa thought that you’re about to stand up, but when he sees your shoulders shake, he immediately gets up. 

“Hey!” He calls out with utmost concern. “What’s wrong?”

He tucks your hair behind your ears to see your face but you’re blocking it with your hands. You furiously shake your head as an answer. 

He grabs your wrist and lugs them away from your face. You look down and persistently veer your head away as you feebly fight back to retrieve your wrists. 

“Y/n-chan, please.”

He pins your wrists on your lap with one hand while the other goes to cheek to usher you to look his way. He doesn’t have to see your whole face when he already feels the wet streaks on your cheek. Still, when he’s able to finally get you to face him, he couldn’t say anything. 

What unravels before him is crippling pain blighting every feature, every wrinkle, every corner of your face. You bite back your lips while you silently cry in front of him. 

He hates the sight. 

He presumed you wanted him to leave and that you were nothing but happy for him. But as he watches how desperate you try to be okay, the realization that comes is awful and bitter. 

His selfishness did this to you. 

You tried to stay away from him when he said he was going pro, but he purposely aimed to keep you close. He wanted you near him because seeing you is a reminder that someone believed in himself more than he did.

It’s only then that it occurs to him why he was so adamant to chase you. He wanted someone who sees him for who he is and tell him how to go from there, because deep inside, he was unhappy when he chose to quit Volleyball.

You were his guiding light, and he repays that how? By shattering you. 

“I would stay if you ask me to.”

He’s looking forward to Argentina. He sees a path for his dreams there once again. But it feels wrong to leave like this, when the reason he’s able to go on is hurting because of it.

“I love you.”

It was uttered with pure anguish, and so was the smile that you gave him.

“That’s why I want you to leave.”

Confusion bubbles over him. He doesn’t understand. Why are you pushing him away when it’s fine with him to stay? He just needs you to ask him and he’d throw away his Argentina plans in a snap.

It tugs your heart that he’s considering to stay because of you, but that only strengthens your resolve to let him go. Essentially, he’s considering it only if you tell him to. In the end, it’s still his ambition that he’ll go after by default. Despite how much it hurt, you’re proud of him for choosing that because above all, you are his avid supporter and that’s exactly the option you want him to take.

“I can’t give you what the world is offering you, Tooru. I’m just a tiny speck compared to the great people you’ll meet and all the great things that are bound to happen to you.”

Oikawa took pride in what you said to him in that letter you unintentionally gave him. He’s good at everything he chooses to do. He can balance all aspects of his life without sacrificing anything. 

You are the outlier. 

You made him see that he could have it all. You made him believe that he can be so much more than what he already is. You convinced him that he could have everything he sets his heart out to.

Everything except you. 

You wouldn’t let him choose you, because you know that choosing you meant abandoning the dream you, yourself, revived. 

As he cradles you in his embrace for the rest of the night, he lets you weep, caressing you as a dainty attempt to soothe the agony. When you calm down, you both remain silent, wishing that time slows down just a bit for you two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I did it again. I clowned myself into thinking that this would be the last chapter.   
> \- And oops, would you look at that, smut happened. (Seriously though, I think it was necessary for this.)  
> \- I might take a while to post the last chapter even though the outline is done already. IDK. I don't feel good with how I wrote this.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this series. This was supposed to be a two-part series only (Same with Just Friends). Can you believe that? I word-vomited my way to 6 chapters. Anyways, enjoy!

“Sorry, Oikawa-san, but I can’t meet you anymore.”

You’re standing at his doorway, ready to leave as soon as you say your proper farewell. You thought you could be with him until his last days, but your breakdown last night told you otherwise.

Now that you’ve acknowledged how much you ached for him, you have to back away while you can still send him off with nothing but best wishes. 

“What happened to calling me ‘Tooru’?” He asks, disregarding what you just said.

“It’s morning already,” you remind him. You only agreed to it at the heat of the moment, but the magic had dissipated with the rising of the sun that signaled another day less of him in Japan.

“And what about our tutorials?” 

“You don’t need me anymore, Oikawa-san. You’re doing well. I’m sure you can get by on your own now,” you calmly explain.

“But-”

You cut him off immediately. “I also left our remaining exercises on your table. That’ll keep you occupied before your flight.” Your decision is not subject to negotiation, even if he doesn’t like it. You already did your part in the pretense of being just a fan when you did it out of love. But that stops today. You need to save yourself from getting stuck any further in the quicksand that is falling in love with Oikawa.

“I can stay. I can play pro here instead,” he presses on.

It was one of your reveries last night before you fell asleep from weariness. It’s not like he won’t get to play anymore if he remains in the country. He could stay and be with you.

You sigh at the thought. “It won’t be the same, and you know it,” you say lowly. Argentina is a different opportunity altogether. You don’t want to take that away from him. 

You smile, for real this time. 

“I don’t regret anything, Oikawa-san. I’m glad that you got my letter and found me because of it. I’m glad we hung out and I was able to get to know you better. I’m glad you asked me to help you with your English. I’m glad to have fallen for you.”

You mean every word. It is indeed sad that he has to go, but more than anything, you are happy to have been part of his journey. You might only be a minute event that will soon be irrelevant to him, but to you, he’s a once in a lifetime encounter that you will never forget. 

You’re suddenly thankful to your witch of a sister. If it wasn’t for her, you’d never have the wonderful experience of loving Oikawa. 

He gives you a familiar look, one that burns with longing before he descends his head down for your lips. You stop him in time, covering his mouth inches from yours with your palm. You can’t have another tang of him again without its bitter aftertaste. Last night was enough for you. 

Instead, you trail your hand on the side of his face to cup his cheek and plant a mellow kiss on it. “Don’t look so down, Oikawa-san. This is Jose Blanco and Argentina. You should be excited!”

His sullen expression doesn’t falter despite the eagerness you radiated. “All because of you. Yet I can’t do something for you in return.”

“All I want is for you to be happy.”

You want him to show you an authentic smile that you can keep in your memory before you say goodbye, before the loneliness that’s just lurking behind you starts to slither in again. 

He inhales and lets it out resignedly. “Can you at least let me hug you?”

You hesitate at first. But then again, it won’t be so bad to hold him for the last time.

Instead of answering him, you reach for his shoulders, slowly drawing his presence in as he envelopes your waist in his arms. His warmth is addictive. No wonder you let yourself get burnt with it. It wasn't friendly nor was it a lovers’ hug. It was one shared between two individuals grateful to each other. 

Within his hold, he whispers. “I wish I could be with you.”

You bury your face on the comforting heat of his neck as you press your body closer to him, finding yourself wanting the same thing. Then you release him before you give in to that self-absorbed desire. 

Only bittersweet smiles that mirror each other are exchanged between you two, replacing words that are not enough to convey what you both feel. 

Before you make your leave, you tell him, “Good luck, Oikawa-san,” and bows. 

“Good bye.”

The sharp fangs of grief graze its teeth in the seams of your soul each foot fall you take, and when you hear his door close, it bites you ferociously. But you don’t dare stop walking away. You miserably trudge your way back to your dorm with unstoppable tears running down your cheeks.

—

It’s been two uneventful days for you. You did your best to not think about Oikawa, but to no avail, he still pops in your head at certain times. Especially today with his flight being hours away.

So much for being a manga heroine. It turns out that you’re only an extra to Oikawa’s shounen series. Still, you’d gladly take the honor of being the catalyst for him to get back on his feet.

“Um. Y/N?”

You heed your attention to your roommate. “Yes?”

“Are you okay?” You aren’t particularly close with your roommate, but for her to look so concerned must mean that you’re more than not okay.

“Yep!” You laugh nervously. “I was just spacing out from how difficult this reading is,” you lie haphazardly. You can tell that she doesn’t believe you. If you were in her place, you wouldn’t either. Your eyes are heavy with dark bags under them as you force yourself to study to death so that you won’t constantly think about him. And even with the exhaustion, you still found it hard to settle in a peaceful slumber, memories of being held in his harms taking your supposed sleep away. 

Maybe you’re overreacting. You were never together, so you shouldn’t feel this attached. But you started having hope, and that’s what’s crushing you right now.

Your roommate nods with a worried smile. “Take it easy, Y/N. It’s only the first semester,” she kindly reminds you.

You tug the corners of your lips forcefully. “Got it. Thanks!”

Your phone suddenly vibrates on your desk. You frown at the caller id. Why would your cousin be calling you so randomly?

“Nee-san!!” You take your phone away from your ear. 

“What the heck are you shouting for, Shin?” You ask irritably.

“Hehehe. Sorry. I’m outside your dorm. I need to give you something.”

You rack your brain on what it could possibly be, but you don’t arrive with any answer. You shrug it off. If he traveled to your dorm just to give it to you, it must be important. Also, you don’t have the energy to question it anymore when you can just meet him and get it over with.

“Alright. Give it to me,” you tell him right away when you come face to face with him. 

He looks for it in his bag and gives it to you. It's a brown envelope.

“Oikawa played with our team again. In exchange, he asked me to give this to you. He said to give it at night, but my classes finished earlier so I didn’t want to wait anymore.”

You absent-mindedly take the envelope. It’s reminiscent of the fateful letter that led him to you. He must have asked Shin because you firmly refused to see him anymore. 

“He must’ve really liked you, nee-san. Even I would feel giddy to receive a handmade letter from him.. To think that-”

“Thanks Shin.” You interject. You don’t want to hear the rest of his ramblings. “You should go home now. Oba-chan will get mad at you again if you go home late.” 

“Oke!” You cringe at your cousin’s imitation of Oikawa. “Gross,” you blurt out. Then he laughs before waving goodbye.

Instead of going back to your room, you head towards the park where you were supposed to tell him that you wanted to stop hanging out and start dating legitimately. It was nightfall when you two sat there and silently looked at the starry sky, distinct from the present wherein the scenery is colored in fiery streaks of orange, a muted buzz can be heard from other students, and he’s no longer there.

You find an empty bench and seat yourself comfortably on it. You lightly grasp the envelope in your hand, flipping it to reveal his handwriting. 

**_Y/N-chan_ <3**

Your eyes are glossy just from that. It was so him. You could even hear it in his voice. You carefully open the flap seal and take out the letter. 

_ Dearest Y/N-chan,  _

_ You should feel privileged by now. I almost never read any of my fan letters. But here I am, not only rereading yours, but responding to it too. Aren’t you so fortunate? _

You laugh. Even though you didn’t get the happy parting goodbye in person, at least you have this to read. 

_ Honestly though, I’m the lucky one. The only reason I’m back at this path is because of you. You believed in me when I didn’t anymore. You pushed me to return to this abandoned dream and made me see it was worth pursuing again. _

_ I’d be lying if I said I’m doing this for you because I’m not. Just imagining the new court I’d be playing on thrills me to the core. You were right when you said I’m about to meet great people. _

_ But you were wrong to think that you’re any less. I didn’t like it when you kept putting yourself down and saw yourself unequal to me. You are so much more than what you think, and it sucks that the price I have to pay to chase this dream is to leave you behind.  _

_ I wish I could’ve said this to you in person, but all I could think about when you said goodbye was I was going to lose you and that there was no point to it anymore.  _

_ Then I realized that I didn't want to go without letting you know. You didn’t want to meet me anymore so I’ll just write it here. _

_ I love you, Y/N. _

_ I don’t think I can ever forget you.  _

_ I’d like to say I’d come back for you, but I don’t want you to get held up on me when there are others who could be there for you. Yeah, don’t think that I forgot that you had all those boys you sent letters to. Hmp! You better find someone at least half the man that I am. Got that? _

_ Haha. I fucking hate that thought. It’s me you should be with, but I guess you can’t win everything in life.  _

_ My ever loyal fan, my dear supporter, my guiding light, I love you. _

_ Ps. I didn’t cry or anything when I wrote this. That dried spot at the left corner was just water that dripped out of nowhere. _

_ Best of luck to you as well, princess <3 _

What started as a light-hearted letter tore you apart when you reached its end. He loves you and you love him. It should’ve been simple, yet it never is. 

You stare at the piece of paper with trembling hands as your vision blurs from the tears that were already falling halfway while reading the letter. Your grip on the letter tightens, crumpling the edges of the paper your fingers are latched onto. 

You look up to the sky. A few hours from now, he’ll be there, on his way across the world, and you’ll be back to your normal life as if he didn’t happen.

You stand up and head back to your dorm, but stop on your tracks before you even reach its entrance.

Is this it? Is this really how it’s going to end? 

The ache in your heart is dulled by so many things running in your head. What happens now? You’ll go back to your life and wait for something amazing to kick off? Wasn’t this it? Should you stop Oikawa? If you run after him, would you be able to handle what comes after that? 

You take out your phone and dial his number.  It rings, but no one answers. You’re too late. 

Yet instead of going back inside, you take a deep breath and start to sprint on the way to his place. Screw the what-ifs. Screw the questions. You’re going to get answers on your own. 

You hail a taxi to get there as fast as you can. Every minute lost is significant, the darkening of the skies letting you know that you are running out of time. To make things worse, heavy traffic hits the road you’re taking. As if the universe is telling you to give up. 

You pay the driver 1000 yen and get out of the vehicle. Yeah, screw the universe as well. 

You dash the remaining distance from his apartment and ignore how your unathletic body is not cut out for this run. Each stride feels like a deciding factor of whether you’ll get there before he leaves, if he’s still even there. 

You know his neighborhood well enough. You’ve gone there for the past five months that you discovered he takes the long way when he walks you back home even when there’s a shorter path that leads directly to the main road. When you see his place, you exhaust whatever’s left of you and run faster. 

You take short, shallow breaths while you knock on his door. 

You couldn’t hear anything from how hard your heart is beating. Your temples are throbbing and your legs are shaking. But you keep at it. Each set of knocks gets louder, and on the fourth time that no one answers, you’re basically banging on his door. 

You rest your palms on your knees as you slouch, your lungs hurting each sharp breath you take. You want to burst into tears from hopelessness but the fatigue in your whole body won’t let you. 

“Y/n-chan?”

Oikawa already left, but out of all the things he’d forget in his old apartment, it had to be his phone. Good thing he left early. Although, he wasn’t expecting you to be in his doorway when he returns, panting like you just finished a marathon. 

“What’re you doing here?”

You crane your neck to look at his direction, relief spreading all over your red face when you see him. You stand up straight and turn to him. You mumble something but it comes out incoherent from how fast you said it paired with the heavy puffing. 

He steps closer to you, caressing your back to help ease your breathing. “Y/n-chan, breathe.” He inhales slowly, urging you to do as he does, then lets it out steadily. He repeats it until you settle down, until you both do. Seeing you here in your current state unnerves him. 

Did you change your mind at the last minute? Are you going to stop him now?

You take one last breath as determination sets in your eyes, answering the questions in his head before you even say anything else. You aren’t going to stop him, so why are you there?

“Wait for me.”

“Huh?”

Your answer doesn’t do anything to help his muddled thoughts. Do you want to go with him to the airport? Do you want him to be single until your roads cross again? 

Yet, even with apparent shock and confusion, you remain undeterred with your eyes glued to his.

“Wait for me,” you repeat. “I’ll follow you to Argentina.”

His eyes widen. Not once did it cross his mind that you’d go after him. He knows that you consider yourself someone who can only watch from the sidelines, someone who prefers to avoid the complexities of being involved with him. Even though he was willing to give up Argentina for you, you didn’t even dare think about it because you believe that you’re nothing more than just a phase that he can afford to lose. 

The honk of the cab behind him distracts you both. “Get in the cab, y/n. I’ll just get something inside.” Even the nod you give him is resolute, obeying his instruction without any questions. You must have read his letter already.

He hurriedly goes inside his room and gets his phone back. 

_ 37 missed calls _

He’s rushing but he can’t help but take a moment to smile and revel at the thought that you actively went after him. He laughs like a silly boy, only for his laughter to fade into the empty room as he realizes what your decision entails. He pockets his phone and goes back out to join you in the vehicle. 

“To the airport,” he tells the driver. 

He holds your hand. It’s only been a week, but it feels like he hasn’t held you far longer than that. He grips it tighter, afraid that the bliss he’s having right now will be short-lived when you talk things through. You might just be making a rash decision from the letter he gave you. That was not his intention. He just wanted you to know the things he wasn’t able to tell you in person.

“Are you sure you’re making the right decision?” This is the second time in his life he felt insecure about something. He wants you with him, but he’s not sure you should come after him. You have a good life here in Japan. Would he really want you to give that up for him?

“No.” You answer bluntly. 

“I’m not sure of anything. I ran down a thorough list of what-ifs while I literally ran to your place, and arrived at no definite answer. So I said screw it all.”

He was right. You didn’t think this through. He frees your hand from his and redirects his sight outside the window, finally understanding why you keep refusing his offer to stay. 

“Don’t throw your future away because of me,” he spats out morosely.

You retrieve his hand, your tiny ones covering his. “I’m not throwing it away. I’m going after it.”

He flinches at the implication of your words, the weight of them filling his chest with so much warmth that it overflows through his whole body. When he returns his gaze to you, you’re beaming happily at him. “I figured if I was going to suffer, I’ll do it by studying my butt off for scholarships in Argentina rather than moping around. I don’t want to be rooting for you in the background anymore. I want to be on the front seats, cheering your name the loudest, when you play. So..” The boldness you had falters as your eyes and voice starts to waver. Even your fingers loosened their grip from how they're trembling. 

He finds it entertaining how you suddenly became aware of your daring monologue. You rapidly shrink back to the awkward girl he met back in that dark room back in high school.

It was too adorable that he couldn’t help himself from lunging on your lips. It’s just as he remembers them - exquisitely soft and perfectly his. He takes away his hand from your feather light grip and places it at the back of your head, pulling you closer so he could taste you better. 

“So I should wait for you. Right, Y/n-chan?” He says inches away from your mouth.

You look down and mutter weakly, “Yeah.”

He descends down for another kiss. He doesn’t waste a second and parts your mouth open with his tongue. You yelp from his brazenness, your hands instantly landing on his chest to gently push him away. 

“What are you doing?” You whisper. 

“What? We only have hours away before my flight. I just wanna touch you as much as I can.” He says without any reservations. From your peripheral, you glance at the driver from the rear mirror. You see his eyes instantly blink back to the road when he sees you looking at him. 

You speak as softly as you can despite your alarmed tone. “I don’t want to make out in public spaces!”

“Oh?” He raises an eyebrow with a faint smile before leaning close to your ear. “We just did, princess.”

He cackles when he sees your scandalized expression. He pulls you in a hug and caresses your hair, his laughter waning when you hug him back. “If I knew this would happen, I’d give you that letter the next day after you left. Then we could have done so much more than just making out.”

You bury your face on his shoulders to hide the embarrassment that was making your cheeks hot while delivering soft punches on his chest. He catches your wrist and chuckles. “I’m kidding, Y/n-chan!” Yeaa. No, he wasn’t.

When you arrive at the airport, you only have a little less than two hours before his flight. He tells you to just sit beside him for a few minutes, relishing the time left between you two before he goes his way.

You fidget on your seat as you realize that you still haven’t made something clear with him. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but it feels embarrassing to bring up now with the audacious speech you told him earlier. 

“Seriously, Y/n-chan. Just spit out. You’re my girlfriend now. What’s holding you back?” He’s not even looking at you but he could tell? It doesn’t matter though because he already answered the uncertainty that was lurking in your mind. 

“Nothing,” you say with a smile forming on your lips. 

He studies you thoroughly and must have decided not to press on because he only smiles back at you. Just as he said, he’s your boyfriend now too. And as much as you want to rejoice to your heart’s content, you can’t help but wish that you could’ve had more time together.

“Listen, y/n-chan.” He puts an arm around you and pulls you close. “The next months are going to be rough. For both you and me. If things go sour and they will, remember that I’m waiting for you. So go back to my letter and erase the part where I ask you to find someone half the man I am. That shit’s not gonna happen. You’re mine and mine only.” He takes a deep breath and reverts back to his overly sparkly self. “Got that?”

You bite your lips as the bittersweet sensation engulfs you, tears resurfacing in the corners of your eyes. But before they even fall, he wipes them away as he holds your gaze.

“I love you, Y/n.” All pretentious frivolousness was lost when he said it. It was dripping with sincerity that worsened your yearning for him even though he hasn’t left yet.

You don’t like public display of action, but at that moment, you’re more than willing to make an exception. You throw yourself at him and find comfort in his lips and arms that are seizing your waist.

You pull back for air but do not dare get away from his hold. “I love you too, Tooru.” 

He simpers. “Ah finally, it’s back to Tooru.”

You join his soft laughter and settle back to a less compromising position. Instead of pondering on how lonely the next months are going to get, you talk about university life, Shin, Blanco - basically mundane subjects, just to ease things up for you both. 

When it’s time for him to leave, he plants a soft peck in your lips then in your forehead. You could only close your eyes and do your best to implant the sensation in your memory. 

“See you, y/n-chan,” are his last words before he goes inside the boarding gates. 

—

Tooru was right. The following months were crap. You had to study twice as hard to make sure that you were more than qualified for the several scholarship rants you were applying for, all while you work part time to save enough money for your move. You also had to deal with your roommate who set you up for blind dates countless times because you did nothing but study and work. Even though you told her every time that you have a boyfriend, she didn’t believe you because you were nothing but a studying machine. 

She only stopped when you accidentally left your laptop open and saw a not so wholesome photo of Tooru and a not so decent chat that followed after. You caught her with eyes wide open and a mouth covering her mouth in surprise while staring at your screen. You both panicked as she awkwardly apologized for both prying and trying to get you to date.

It did the trick though. She no longer bothered you with unnecessary dates she set up.

If you weren’t not on your laptop, you were on your phone. You didn’t see any benefit from attending university parties or social gatherings if they did not boost your credentials. You rather slept, relaxed, or got on a video call with your boyfriend. 

It’s tough, really. But nothing came close to the ache of being so far away with him. Sometimes, he’d catch you tearing up during calls at which he’d tease you for missing him too much. You just couldn’t wait to get there. Not only are you going to be with him, but also, you’re heading for another opportunity as you switched to International Studies when you applied.

It took 6 months, but at last you’re there, standing in the same airport where you said your temporary goodbyes.

You barely talked to him the last two days because he was busy with training, but that’s fine. In less than 24 hours, you’re going to see him again, in the flesh.

You check in your baggage and look at your ticket to see which gate you’re supposed to board.

“You look lost, Y/n-chan.”

Your whole body shudders. You’d think you’re just imagining things but his voice sounded too real and too close. You slowly turn around to confirm if it was just you momentarily losing your mind.

You weren’t. He’s really there just an arm span away from your reach. The video calls didn’t do him justice. He looks even better the last time you saw him here, larger than life as he carries himself with dignified confidence even when he’s just standing. 

“Tooru?”

He removes his shades and flashes you a grin. “Surprise, princess.”

You cling to him right away, enclosing your arms around his torso as you laugh and cry at his chest. He returns your embrace and kisses the top of your head. “I missed you,” he hums on your hair.

“I missed you too,” you whimper. “What’re you even doing here?” You ask as you pull away while drying your tears of joy.

“Fetching my girlfriend who’s a thousand miles away from me. What else?”

So that’s why he was offline for almost a day. Even with their training, he can still squeeze you in. Obviously he can’t do that when he’s on a plane back to Japan. You also thought it was weird that he kept on insisting to be the one to book your flight. It all makes sense only then. He also booked the same flight back. 

“I have to say though. I was tempted to immediately call you when I got here yesterday.”

“You should’ve!” 

“Ehh? Then the surprise would’ve been ruined.”

He did seem a bit different, but he’s still the same Oikawa you parted ways with. You’ve always been talking to him, but seeing him still keep the aspects of him that you came to love is very comforting. Having him dote you in person already makes the sleepless nights worth it. 

He grabs your hand and entangles it with his. “Shall we go then?” He asks with the dazzling smile that you were used to seeing only behind a screen.

You nod happily.

—

Oikawa wasn’t a fan of the 23 hours and 30 minutes of sitting down. More especially since he did the same just three days ago. But as you eagerly look over the window seat when you reach Buenos Aires, it dawns on him. 

You actually did it. You made it here.

The previous months were thrilling, but it felt like something was missing. And now that you’re here, everything instantly falls into place.

“Tooru!” You squeal excitedly when the plane comes to a full stop. “We’re here!”

He chuckles before indulging himself with the warmth of your lips. He was hopeful when he left, but when he arrived there, anxiety frequently visited him. What if you change your mind? What if it’s suddenly too much for you? What if you don’t love him enough to push through?

He witnessed how hard you worked for it. You even fell asleep sometimes on video calls. It was distressing to see, but he couldn’t ask you to give up, not when you poured yourself to make sure you could transfer to where he was. 

The almost back-to-back flights wore him out, but the wave of relief that washes over him coupled with how your lips felt against his, just as delicate as he remembers, were all he could feel right now.

“Yeah,” his breath mingles with yours as he withdraws slightly. He rests his forehead on yours and closes his eyes, the events of the last year briefly flashing by in his mind. 

With a dainty smile, he tells you, “You’re finally here with me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Not gonna lie. The original ending in my head months ago was this: It'll be reader letting go of Oikawa and meeting him again in Japan years after. Instead of cheering for the Japan team, she supports Argentina. She meets Oikawa at the end of the match and asks to sign her poster of him. Oikawa signs it and writes his contact details at the back.   
> \- I bled my brains out for something soft because I want Oikawa and reader (all of us lol) to be happy. I hope it wasn't a stretch.


End file.
